It doesn't matter if you broke up with your ex-partner on a good note, or quarreled to smithereens. In any case, there are 8 lessons that you learned from this relationship, and for which you should mentally say "thank you" to that man ...
This is what you will understand after a while, after breaking up with a man
Everyone should have personal boundaries
In a relationship, it should not be so that one restricts the other in everything, dictates where and what to go, with whom to be friends, and with whom not to communicate. If you have had this too, then you probably already felt that you have personal boundaries! You have the opportunity to satisfy those needs that you could not realize in that relationship. Previously, you turned a blind eye to your “want” to compromise with your partner, but now you have no one to do it for. And you know that henceforth, if you have a relationship with another man, you will not let your boundaries be violated!
People do not change
You have waited a long time for your partner to change, perhaps even for many years, but this did not happen. Now you will never make such a mistake, you will not think that yes, everything suits you in a person, but there is one "but" that he will change for you. You have become wiser, and you know that if you are doing well, but he is sometimes rude, if you are doing well, but he is not wants children, if everything is great with you, but he does not want to work yet - all these "but" mean that it will remain so forever and ever. For your sake, he will not change anything. A person changes when he himself sincerely desires.
Loneliness can make a person happy
In the past, you may not have left your partner because you were afraid to become lonely. And loneliness in your understanding was something extra terrible, you believed that there was nothing worse! Now you understand that it is not! Better alone than with just anyone, right? In vain, many women begin to consider themselves holistic individuals only after they meet a soul mate. You need to be this very person by itself, without a man! Sometimes the fear of loneliness leads to the fact that a person falls into a toxic relationship. Yes, love, family and loved ones are important for everyone, but you can't feel like a subhuman without all this! Now you understand that you can give yourself a feeling of fullness of life, safety and comfort!
You know what you really need
Time has passed since you broke up, and now you can ask yourself: did that relationship bring me joy? You were ready to forgive a lot to your ex, endured something, put up with something, and did not receive respect, care, understanding in return. Now you know what you really need, what you are really looking for in life and in relationships.
You became bold
Many are afraid of changes in life, and parting is one of the changes. And this has made you stronger, now you are much bolder in taking a step forward, leaving your comfort zone, deciding on something, realizing yourself. You are not afraid to take risks if the risk is reasonable. Thanks to the fact that you analyzed the experience of your separation, you have now learned to change your life for the better, and not only in the love sphere.
You become honest and open
By the way, this statistics, according to American scientists, people who have experienced painful relationships did not become withdrawn. On the contrary, for example, women become open, honest, not afraid to build new relationships, get to know people. Scientists say that this is due to the feeling of complete liberation, because relationships, especially if they are toxic, do not allow you to live a full life, breathe, so to speak, deeply. Now you too can no longer pretend, you do not have to adapt to someone and try to look better than you are.
You don't blame yourself
You used to think a lot about your breakup with your ex and blame yourself. But now they realized that even if there is at least some of your fault in this, it is not so significant. If there was a breakup, then there was a very serious reason for that. And not everything in a relationship depended only on you. Bad relationships are just bad relationships and nothing else.
Concentration on the essentials
After breaking up, you have a period full of questions. What do you want from life? Where are you going? What are you striving for? What do you want? And now you can concentrate on the really important, the main thing! You may even surprise yourself by exposing your desires. It's up to you to decide whether you want to engage in self-development or, say, have long dreamed of a child, and are going to look for a person with the same views and desires.
Any setbacks, including partings, seem destructive to us. But, if you learn to look at it from a slightly different angle, you can learn to analyze your life experience, then you will be able to become a more whole person than you were in a relationship. Yes, the lessons of broken hearts are painful, but they are so important to a better future!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/8-poleznyh-urokov-kotorye-my-poluchaem-ot-svoih-byvshih.html
