I think everyone has acquaintances who turn the conversation into another complaint. No matter how the conversation develops, the person finds a place where to insert information about his problems. Either there is a failure in his personal life, now there are problems with money, now his beloved dog got sick, then the neighbors got to make noise, etc.
Someone will say that there is nothing wrong with the fact that a person complains about something, because you cannot constantly keep negative in yourself. And our upbringing does not allow us to reject the sufferer, no matter how unpleasant his story may be to us. But not everyone knows that constantly listening to complaints from people is harmful to ourselves!
Why can't you listen to constant complaints?
The fact is that a person who complains to others, and they listen carefully, feel sorry for him, gets used to his eternal suffering and whining, and can no longer stop. Meanwhile, the Universe simply does not tolerate complainers, it begins to adjust to them, and minor problems turn into serious and real troubles.
Why should you stop listening to the stories of eternal sufferers?
You are losing vital energy
Of course, not all people let the stories about other people's problems pass through themselves, but if after communicating with the complainant you feel tired and fatigued, then you should stop these meaningless conversations. It's just that other people's stories draw out all the vitality from you. And you also attract negativity to yourself, and serious problems may begin for you.
You are being manipulated
Very often, a person does not just need to speak out and pour out his soul to someone, he begins to complain out of selfish motives. Simply, he tries to evoke in the interlocutor not only a feeling of self-pity, but also a feeling of guilt. After all, everything is good and rosy with you, but he has problems, then it will certainly become a shame. Eventually, when you feel ashamed, you will start offering your support and help at your own expense. So much for manipulation!
Your emotional state worsens
After a stream of negativity, our psyche becomes very hard. There is a lack of energy, and feelings of guilt, and negative thoughts, and emotional imbalance, and even the brain begins to work much worse. In simple words, complaints knock you out of your usual life cycle, and your mood deteriorates, apathy and discontent appear.
Your outlook on life is changing
You may be optimistic, but other people's complaints can undermine your confidence. Over time, you will begin to look at life differently, as if in a negative way, you will stop noticing all the good things that are around, and you yourself will become a sufferer!
How then to proceed?
Don't feel like it is your duty to listen to complaints out of courtesy. You harm not only yourself, but also the sufferer. After all, continuing to whine about his difficult fate, he remains sitting on his fifth point, and does not seek to change anything.
Therefore, here are some tips:
- start communicating less with the complainant;
- try to refuse offers to go to the cinema together, for a walk, etc.;
- Directly tell the complainant that these are his problems and they do not concern you;
- do not show sympathy for the complainant, do not offer your support and help;
- learn to say: “no,” “I'm not interested in this,” “stop whining,” “I don't want to hear about your problems,” etc.
Advice seems strange and rude to you, because you want to remain polite and gentle person for everyone? Well, then keep up the good work, but get ready for the fact that soon everyone will start pouring their negativity onto you, and you will become like a trash can!
First of all, you need to take care of yourself, and not what others think. Start ignoring the whiners and your life will be much happier and brighter!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/4-prichiny-ne-slushat-chuzhie-zhaloby-i-kak-sebya-pravilno-vesti-s-vechnymi-stradalcami.html
