Unfortunately, people who sympathize with others a lot, who know how to listen to others, advise, empathize, absorb all this negativity into themselves. Empathy, of course, is a useful quality, but only when it is not being used. If you begin to feel very bad after talking with a person, then think about it, maybe he has a negative impact on you?
Throughout our lives, we face many problems, and one of them is that we sometimes have to listen to other people's complaints. They do not like complainers, but it is quite difficult to just take and leave a person who has already begun his story and is ready to pour out his grief on you. It becomes easier for the complainants themselves, because they talked, threw out everything in their hearts, but those who constantly listen to it, on the contrary, feel bad. The complainant takes all the energy from the people who listen to him.
Negative human influence
It is worth distinguishing here that some people, with the help of their complaints, throw off negativity on others, while others just want to speak out in order to feel support and get advice. People of the first type may even call you selfish if you refuse to listen to them. They can also make you feel guilty, etc. You should not be afraid of this, but you will still be full of energy, and you will begin to respect yourself, because you were able to get rid of the toxic person.
Why can't you listen to complaints?
If a person constantly complains about his life, and does not change anything in it, then he is clearly toxic. He just pours one problem after another on you, and does not move from his place to at least solve something. He is used to constantly, sorry, whining, and pretending to be offended. He has such an established way of life.
How will you help him if you listen? Absolutely nothing! He just needs to throw out his negativity somewhere, like trash, you are a trash can for the complainant! There is no point in talking without a purpose!
When a person complains, he relieves himself of the feeling of guilt for his worthlessness and for his failures. You can only help him by consulting a specialist who will change his way of thinking.
When we listen to other people's complaints, we give the complainants some of our energy. We just give it to nowhere! We may and want to help, but we cannot. As a result, we do not help, and we ourselves are exhausted.
If you began to feel an emotional imbalance, it became difficult for you to solve your own problems, you have some kind of failure in concentration and negative thoughts have appeared, it means that you are energetically depleted.
What can you do to avoid being influenced by the complainant?
Set distance
Let it be offended when you say that now you do not have time to listen to him, or that he only whines, but does nothing. Just make it clear to the complainant that he alone is responsible for everything that happens in his life.
Don't show your weakness
Stop showing pity for the complainant because he is a real manipulator. He tries to get you to feel guilty about being fine and not doing well. Do not follow his lead, otherwise you will ruin yourself and the complainant himself. He will simply "suck" all the energy out of you, and then he will find himself a new victim.
Set boundaries
You must make the complainant respect your personal space and conversation topic choices. You have the right to say that you do not like to constantly talk about the bad, then, perhaps, the complainant will be distracted from the negative.
Be kind to people, sympathize, listen, help, but be able to distinguish the one who is really bad from the manipulator-complainant!
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The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/kak-izbavitsya-ot-zhalobshhika-i-priumnozhit-svoju-zhiznennuju-energiju.html
