Recently, I talked with an old friend, and she told me over a cup of tea about the changes that are taking place in her life. A friend said that a very nice young man has been trying to look after her for a couple of months. He is aimed at a serious relationship, very gallant, kind and considerate, and in general from everyone with whom she ever had to deal, he seems to her the best. The acquaintance herself really wants a relationship, but she is so scared that a new lover can break her heart. She is afraid to show her vulnerability, afraid of pain, afraid of tears into the pillow.
Of course, you can understand her, in the past she experienced a beautiful romance that ended in her partner's betrayal. For a long time, my acquaintance did not build a relationship with anyone, because she was afraid that everything would happen again. And now she stands at a crossroads wondering what to do. The acquaintance stressed that she was not looking for any emotional attachment, she was independent, self-sufficient in all respects. But something kicks in my chest. When I returned home from her, only one phrase was spinning in my head: "take a risk."
After all, the truth is, love is about taking risks. Why do we sometimes avoid it? Because we have fear, and it is known to be the most powerful weapon on the planet. Fear of failure, a broken heart, pain, fear of not realizing goals. It is this fear that prevents us from realizing our dreams, trusting those with whom we can be good, those who sincerely wish us well.
I think no matter what happened in the past, you have to take risks. You have to try to be happy. After all, another person can help heal from the wounds received! And if you constantly put love aside, it will still sooner or later overtake a person. Man is created to love and be loved. Love is the most beautiful feeling on earth. My friend has someone to love, her daughter is growing up from previous relationships. But a woman needs a man, needs his love, needs the opportunity to love him.
She is afraid of her vulnerability to anyone. But it's okay to be vulnerable. Probably, if we did not open up to people, then we would have neither experience nor life lessons. There would be no first kisses, dates and partings, but we took risks, and we have it all.
It's about trust. The point is that you need to believe that your partner will always be there when it’s bad, and will always catch if we fall. You need to believe that he will do everything for your safety, and you will certainly want to do everything to make him feel the best, loved, and the best.
And no one encroaches on your self-sufficiency. You can still do something on your own and make some decisions. But it’s so great to make someone a part of your life while realizing how vulnerable you become. For the sake of love, people make huge sacrifices. And every sacrifice made in the name of love fully justifies itself.
It is important to learn to perceive your vulnerability not as a weakness, but as a strong side, a better trait. Therefore, you need to love, take risks, trust, suffer, fall and rise, and then try again, not letting fear prevent you from being a happy person.
It is very difficult and scary to take risks, but what indescribable feelings the opportunity to overcome your fears gives!
Today I called my friend and quoted the words of Peter McWilliams: “Love is a risk. What if it doesn't work? What if it works out? " And you know, she really thought about it, and said that she would try. She decided to take a chance, and I believe that she will succeed!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/ne-nado-boyatsya-vljubitsya-v-togo-s-kem-vy-mozhete-byt-uyazvimoj.html
