I want to tell you the story of my former classmate. She became a widow several years ago, she has a son from her first marriage, whom she gave birth to very early. After the death of her husband, she did not want to build relationships with anyone for two years, but then suddenly she met a man who was able to bring her back to life. At first everything was just perfect. The husband carried Irina in his arms, took his son Sasha as his own. Their family seemed very friendly. We sometimes crossed paths, even went to the nature to rest together. Then Irina had another daughter, it would seem that the family should have become even stronger, but for some reason everything began to fall apart.
I remember how we were invited to celebrate the first birthday of little Vera, and our whole family had a very unpleasant aftertaste from that day. Irina's husband got very drunk, and when he made a toast with congratulations for his daughter, for some reason he called her his only and beloved child. The guests were silent, and my husband asked about his son Sasha. Then his stepfather laughed like a negative character from a movie and said that as soon as his stepson turned 18, he would simply kick him out of the house.
The guests were indignant, although doing it somehow secretly. Then Irina's husband said that this was not discussed, and that he also wanted to expel his wife for a long time. Supposedly she needs to try harder, but she still has nowhere to go, so let her endure.
It was evident how Irina was getting sick, she turned pale, her eyes were watering. But she continued to hold on, but simply got up from the festive table and quietly left for another room. Everyone was silent, I followed Irina and saw her collecting children's things. She collected both Sasha's things and little Vera's things. And when I asked where she was going, she replied that she was going to her parents. Irina has her own apartment, but there is a renovation, and so far the family lived on the territory of her husband. At first, Irina rented out her housing by the day, and the family had good money for this.
So I wondered if it really was because of one incident, especially since the husband of my classmate was just drunk as a lord, she was ready to destroy what had been built for years. After all, I thought that they were doing very well. But, as it turned out, it was only good at first. With the birth of Vera, everything changed dramatically. Irina's husband became rude, dissatisfied with her cooking, mess, intimacy, the fact that she did not work. But most of all he began to find fault with his son Sasha. Insults and reproaches began. Irina said that her husband periodically called her son a burden, and her woman with a trailer, used, defective. He inspired her that no one needed her with two children, that she needed to endure him, so beautiful and pecking at her.
Irina repeatedly forgave her husband, and warned that she would leave him, but he did not believe in it. He was sure that in our time, a woman with a child, especially with two children, is not needed by anyone. Moreover, he was the main earner in the family, and he was calm, because he knew that she would be lost without him.
I am always on the side of justice. I know many women who walk away from their spouses, and in general I do not justify them. I know some ladies who manipulate their men. And here is the story of Irina, who has always been a kind-hearted person. If I had not seen the behavior of her husband and myself had not heard his insulting words about my wife and stepson, then when she left him, I might have thought that it was her fault in everything. After all, in appearance they had a really exemplary family! Although I also have no right to judge. But everything is clear here. Many women tolerate humiliation from their husbands, because in reality they are afraid to leave, they are scared to take all the worries on themselves, the more scared to go into the unknown, having two children.
Irina still managed, she left her husband. She, of course, did not disappear at all, but wrote him a farewell note, where she indicated the reason for her departure and the address of her residence. She even wrote that she was ready to give him one last chance, which I do not understand at all. Yes, the fat point in this story, unfortunately, has not yet been put, and they have not yet had a divorce. But I so want to hope for a good continuation ...
What do you think of this situation? I would like to hear the opinion of not only women, but also men.
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/kak-tolko-synu-ispolnilos-18-muzh-stal-ochen-agressivnym.html