We ourselves create the fate of our children. We are sometimes rude, harsh, and sometimes indifferent. Today I want to talk about what the indifference of parents leads to.
The consequences of parental indifference for children
Insecure attachment
It happens that the child has a mother, but it is as if she does not. She seems to live her own life, and she doesn't care what happens to her children. A child who lives with parents who are indifferent to him becomes anxious, he wants to get closer to people, but is afraid that something terrible will happen. If the parents are aggressive, the child learns to defend himself and is afraid to make contact with people. There is a feeling of insecure attachment to people.
Underdeveloped emotional intelligence
Parents' words and gestures teach the child self-complacency in difficult situations. It is parents who teach their children to cope with negative emotions and fears. If parents are indifferent to a child, then he cannot correctly identify emotions, and then use them for thinking.
Self-perception disorder
If the mother is indifferent to her daughter, then she herself lowers her self-esteem. Everything comes from childhood. And the mother is the first mirror in which the daughter sees her reflection. If a mother praises her daughter, she grows up with the knowledge that she is beautiful, even if this is not entirely true. If the mother is indifferent, then the girl becomes insecure, and sees in herself only flaws and flaws.
Mistrust
To learn to trust others, a person must first have a relationship of trust with their parents. With indifferent and aggressive parents, a person learns that it is absolutely impossible to rely on anyone, that any relationship is dangerous and unstable.
Difficulty understanding boundaries
A child whose personal space was constantly invaded by parents without permission will generally grow into an adult who does not understand boundaries. He will be afraid, starting communication with people, or he will confuse obedience with love. In any relationship, even between a man and a woman, each person should have their own personal space and a clear idea of the boundaries.
Toxic people around
This is inevitable, if a child lived with toxic indifferent parents, then he will continue to choose the same toxic people nearby. After all, everyone is drawn to something familiar.
Fear of failure
In a family where parents were indifferent to the desires of their child, and they simply forbade everything, a person grows up with a stable fear of failure. He is afraid to take a step, because he is sure that he will be wrong. The child will perceive all his mistakes and flaws as his own flaws and shortcomings. It is the disliked sons and daughters that turn into losers in life.
Insulation
Everyone has such a layout in their heads that mom and daughter sit, hug, kiss, have a nice conversation. And now the girl, who in the family does not receive this from her mother, thinks that it was she alone who was not lucky. She feels lonely, secretly dreams of joining the "tribe", where girls like her have excellent relationships with their mothers. But she will never tell anyone about this, preferring to isolate her thoughts and feelings.
Hypersensitivity
Disliked children who are faced with parental indifference grow up into hypersensitive adults. They are afraid of being rejected, they painfully perceive any careless word addressed to them or even a glance. Oversensitivity is one of the most common forms of verbal abuse of a victim.
Guilt
A person grows up with a sense of guilt. He is not sure of himself, he is in constant confusion, he has an internal personality crisis. He becomes a victim of conflicts, he always comes out guilty, he turns into a "whipping boy."
If you realized that the listed points are about you, then you are already on the path to healing. It is very difficult to grow up as a normal person when your parents did not care about you all their lives. To understand yourself and start living a normal life, you should contact a specialist.
And I draw the attention of moms to this article! Become understanding friends for your children, praise your children, trust them. Don't ruin their lives!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/10-posledstvij-roditelskogo-bezrazlichiya.html
