Many people, when they break up, cannot specifically articulate why they do it. They carry some kind of nonsense like that "they did not agree in character", "the problem is in finances," "incompatibility in bed." What's the real problem?
A quarrel between lovers can happen out of the blue because of trivial things. And then the relationship continues on, but they look like an emotional shootout. The couple cannot decide, for example, which room to start cleaning from, what will be for dinner, which movie to watch. There are many examples, but they are similar to the plot of the movie "Mr. and Mrs. Smith"! Remember this film? In it, Angelina Jolie also played with Pitt. The couple did not stay together for long, but they already got bored with each other, and then it turns out that they are both hired killers. Why do I cite this particular film as an example? Because it is in him that the relationship between the main characters is so similar to the relationship in a couple, where communication has become unbearable.
It is rare that a man and a woman who understand that relationships lead to a breakup, sit down and begin to discuss their problems. And rarely do people think that they can hurt their soul mate with an act or word. After all, the point is not in the quarrel itself, but in how a person reacts to all this. In a strong couple, conflict is seen as an opportunity to grow up, become closer, get to know each other better, learn understanding, trust, etc.
If people cannot control negative emotions, then, of course, he moves away from his partner. And even minor quarrels, and some minor incidents eventually roll into someone, big, no, just huge. This does not happen immediately, but gradually, and the couple is completely depleted, only pain, sadness and loneliness remain inside the lovers.
And so many couples behave. Instead of sitting down, talking, you begin to point out each other's shortcomings, take offense, even harbor anger. You even avoid quarrels, but they are needed, because how else can you find out what is happening in your couple?
Everyone has negative moments in their relationship. After all, even in strong couples there are misunderstandings, quarrels. Only in the second case do people come to a common opinion, find a compromise, but in those relationships where people focus on negativity and problems, disintegration occurs, because people are no longer about love and about each other think!
Every moment that happens in our life is commented on by a voice in our head. This voice, for example, during a quarrel with a partner, either reminds us that we love our partner, or that he is just a terrible person. If a person constantly thinks about the negative, dwells on it, then gradually the couple moves away, although she herself does not even realize this.
And before that, strong relationships, love, admiration for each other turn into loneliness together, anger, confusion. Therefore, a banal incident due to an un-ironed shirt or a sidelong glance brings the couple closer to parting.
The negative at one point simply covers everything that was once good in the pair. And even good deeds of a partner do not change matters.
Relationship conflicts are essential! Do you know what for? To remind you that you are 2 completely different people, you have different opinions, you are different. And, despite all the shortcomings, people must learn to understand and love each other!
Just focus on the positive, trust, understand, respect, appreciate. Even when unpleasant moments happen in your relationship, do not dwell on the negative, forget about pain and resentment. This is your loved one, take his hand, hug, kiss.
Do not bring your relationship to the plot of a film about Mr. and Mrs. Smith ...
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The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/iz-za-chego-ljudi-na-samom-dele-chashhe-vsego-rasstajutsya.html
