Nowadays, many parents bring up their children too gently. They believe that the way the upbringing was, say, in Soviet times, is quite strict and in some ways even cruel. I in no way urge moms and dads to take a belt in their hands and whip their children for every little offense, but you should be stricter!
Now it is customary to say that the upbringing that we had made us unhappy, notorious, traumatized. From childhood, all our problems are in communication, in outlook on life, in relation to people. Of course, in those days, strict upbringing did not imply concepts such as "freedom", "choice", "personality." But now psychologists strongly advise giving your children more freedom.
Is this correct? After all, observations show the opposite in general. Overseas university professors even conducted research on this matter. And they came to the conclusion that the more demanding and stricter the parents, the more successful their children grow up!
Again, strict education should not be equated with physical pressure. Here we are talking about restrictions and exactingness, not a belt. The research I was talking about was conducted on teenagers 13-14 years old, for six years. Children whose parents were very strict, persistent and demanding became successful and self-confident.
It was the children, who had too demanding parents, who finished school well, and college, and found promising jobs. Here's a weirdness. And another very interesting fact! Girls whose mothers are very strict are almost 5% less likely to become pregnant in adolescence.
Of course, many of us achieve success in life by doing what we think is necessary, and sometimes even against the will of our parents. However, as much as we ignore our parents, their teachings as children greatly influence our decision-making. And then we think that we decide everything ourselves!
If, for example, you can give an example from our modern life. Suppose the mother did not allow her son to communicate with the bully from the next doorway, or forbade her daughter to be friends with a girl who was failing. At the same time, the mother explained why these children should not be near her child. But the child did not listen, secretly communicated with these friends of his, and then communication was still interrupted, and he understood that his mother was right! And with growing up, a person can already weed out people he does not need. He acquires this ability from childhood!
While your girlfriends went to discos, kissed guys, dated them and even slept, you had to do your homework, go to clubs, return home until dark. And then your girlfriends entered the vocational school, and you were able to pass the entrance exams to a prestigious institution. Some of your girlfriends, all the same who were free from maternal instructions, became pregnant at a young age, broke up with the child's father, and in no way can build their female happiness. And you, graduated from high school, got a good profession, and met a decent man. You have useful acquaintances, you have no health problems, and all this was again influenced by strict parents!
The researchers say that children whose parents are very strict have a well-developed sense of responsibility. They try to keep order in everything, they visit a doctor, pay utility bills and loans on time. And because of this, they are not annoyed, because they are used to doing it.
Therefore, mommies and daddies, take control of your child's life, but know when to stop. There is no need to restrict freedom, and if you prohibit something, then be sure to explain why. Adolescence is quite difficult, and the child will resist your instructions, but later all this will be useful to him.
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The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/strogie-roditeli-uspeshnye-deti-pochemu.html
