A child in a family can be a real "apple of discord". More precisely, he did not, and the methods of its education. What to do if you have a husband with different views and methods of child-rearing?
What if mom and dad are different views on education / istockphoto.com
Why the unity of education?
Children need stability and clear boundaries. Then he grows quiet, he realizes what is happening and what is demanded of him. He is safe, and it is - a basic need for harmonious development baby.Good and bad cop
But it also happens that the parents have different views on parenting. It's not scary, psychologists say. But only if they do not differ fundamentally, do not lead to conflict, and the child, do not overtighten the dispute.
It happens that one parent plays a "bad cop" - it does not allow much, strict with the child. A second parent - the "good cop" who secretly from the "evil" allows forbidden. Moreover, the role of "good cop, bad cop" can play as Dad and Mom.
That in this case there?
The child ceases to respect their parents. For the child, mother and father - authorities. That is why it is important to observe the unity of education. If one of the parents would violate the prohibition of the second or educate radically different, the children will be uncomfortable. The child grows up and does not respect any of the parents.
Children reap the benefits. For example, Mother scolds the kid for fighting, and my dad - praises. To whom he tells about what happened? And if he breaks an expensive gadget, he would go to his mother that he will regret, not to the pope, who scold and punish him. The child begins to get away with everything and he never learns the norms of behavior in society.
Increased anxiety baby. If parents have a row over the upbringing of the child, he takes it personally. Just knowing it: "They are quarreling because of me, I mean - bad."
What if mom and dad are different views on education / istockphoto.com
The reasons for the differences training
Different behaviors in couple families. Mom and Dad live in different families, someone had stricter parents, someone softer. These behaviors they moved into their family.Resentment on the partner. In this case, the child becomes a victim of the accumulated claims. Husband or wife does not agree with the methods of education of the second half, to spite the second.
Physiological features. Women by nature are softer, men - more stringent. This leads to differences of education.
What to do?
To seek a compromise. Each party should calmly explain your position and find the methods that will satisfy both. Only discussion should not take place in the presence of a child.
10 basic rules. Mom and Dad can bring up in different ways. Again, because of its natural features. But there must be rules that are not broken under any circumstances.
Become a team. For different views on education have one goal - to bring the good and happy man. Therefore, the child with the Pope may behave differently than my mother. In this case, he learns the gender patterns of behavior, but it is not dramatic differences, and will not be affected the credibility of the other parent.
To go to a psychologist. If a compromise can not be found, and all the talk go to the scandal, could you have a lot of grievances and claims against each other? it's desirable visit the psychologist and solve your family problems, until the child has become a "bargaining chip" in them.
If a parents are divorced and live apart from them all the same common goal - to bring the person to understand and respect the social norms. Discuss with your ex-husband, that he should not destroy your contribution to education as you do it.
You will also be interested to know 9 signs of a good mother according to psychologists.
