We are doing everything possible to close to us turned out to be the perfect man. And almost achieve the desired. Nearly.
To cope with some of his habits can not afford, even if you had the One Ring or Buzinova wand. Note, there is no word about the scattered socks, the notorious toilet seat cover or trivial tube of toothpaste. Today in favor more mainstream.
It does not distinguish colors
If there is somewhere male hell it off the shelves with towels brown shades. Chocolate? Beige? Coffee? No, I have not. Because and brown for him - it's gray. Even worse is the only pink. There and powdery, and salmon, and fuchsia. In general, the blazing inferno :)
He's in emphasis does not see that in front of him
"Lovely, but perhaps we ate yesterday that salad?" - for the third time asked the beloved, which is the third time opens the refrigerator, looking directly at bowl of salad (I think it was about - and he blinked a salad), closes the fridge and asks again where he salad. It is a gift, by golly!
He can not buy without a list
Even if the list consists of two paragraphs, it should be. Because if you come to the store for yogurt and cereal, then you will leave the store five minutes later with a pack of oatmeal and a glass of yogurt. Man will throw you an hour's message with a photo of boxes of oatmeal and all the yogurt in the store. Because he does not have a list, which is the exact name, weight and color boxes. Enrages? Not that word.
Arranges puddles on the kitchen table
Even if he was just making tea and needed merely to pour water from the kettle into the teapot, and from the teapot - in a cup on the table will be a puddle. No puddles. As if there were a giant snowman melted. Wipe the puddle tea towel? And where is it?
He has long selects
You can always look at three things: fire burning, water flowing and as your favorite studies to describe fenam (teapots, multivarka etc.). You have the hair (well, has managed to break the old!) Has long been chosen by three characteristics, paid and received from the courier, but no, your man offered to help. And he had a week with gusto Buridan donkey compares dozen plastic "competitors" like you for the hair dryer to get married.
He criticizes you, when you're driving
You still do not, even if you have 10 years of driving experience behind extreme driving courses, and only a week ago he was right. How do you brake? Yes overtaking him as much as we will reach! Where are you flying to?! Green, go!!! Why are we going this route, rather than yesterday's? I would like to take him out into the forest and left there. Let selected as a boy-with-finger, on bread crumbs, or looking for a place north of the moss on the stumps.
he asks
And does it in two variations: first, when you do not listen to what you tell him, and in some moment, looking up from the screen of the tablet, as a courtesy asks: "Whose was the dog?" And you do not already remember whose.
Second fad: you, whisk cream mixer in the kitchen or washing in the shower, it is precisely at this moment sets some urgent question from the far corner of the room, and up to you, of course, came the only scraps phrases. Ge-ni-al-no!
He plays in the tanks
And he has "it" your tank - earned, bought for victory points, tuning, cool, powerful, with a still-and-and-their barrel - not something that Dima and Vlad from the technical department. In general, they "out there" every day "Battle of Thrones," and you are entitled to sit and wait for an hour or two, until they boys aged 30+ in the virtual face off... muzzles.
It covers the entire bed
Even if you are lucky enough evrokrovati two by two, favorite manages to occupy the bed completely. How? Easy. He lays down a star, scattering "rays" on the four corners of the bed and partly on you. There is another, a light version of the night "nightmare" called "general blanket": you wake up shivering because favorite wrapped in a blanket "croissant", and you have a long time to pull the corner to pull myself a little covered. Heat... Good... And again! - favorite puts you on top of the foot. Checkmate.
He flies into a rage if you Spoilers
Have you watched "Interstellar" and twenty "Grand Hotel" Budapest ", and before going to the movie theater you care about to know what will be the film ten times. But God forbid chance at the man she loved to hint at some of the detail of the plot. Everything is lost! Compactly la comedy. Your song is sung. Killer - the butler. No one is going nowhere.
P.S. When in theaters was the last series, "Harry Potter," I'm in a loud whisper when her husband told her sister that, based on the book, Professor Dumbledore will come to life again and is the director of Hogwarts. You should have seen my face Believing the end of the session. One-time - and the Kings!
