There are 4 sign the divorce, in which you are guilty. British family therapist John Gottman He calls these features "four horsemen of the Apocalypse", which kill your marriage.
Criticism. It is a criticism of the partner, not his actions. If you notice that more and more pronounced: "You always ..." "You never ...", "you are of those people ..." "Why are you (this) ..." - it's time to stop because near the end of the marriage.If you are sure to criticize, then choose only the specific behavior of the partner, not his personality as a whole.
Contempt. When one spouse feels better than the other, it immediately becomes apparent. Offensive jokes, nicknames, angry humor, sarcasm. Just work on yourself and create an atmosphere of love and mutual respect.
Aggressive defense.It happens that one of the spouses it seems that all the other time it criticizes and he tries to defend himself. Or he poses as the victim and begins to make excuses, and then goes into the attack. Say what you agree with at least part of the word partner that you understand his feelings and are able to look at the situation through the eyes of his.
Circuit in itself.Often, spouses, avoiding conflict, turn in on themselves. But the conflict still can not avoid. This "neutrality" is perceived as a partner for the disapproval coldness, distancing, lack of contact, arrogance. Think of a word that your family will be denoted by the request during a break. Neutral word, and not evil, "Enough!". Agreed to respect each other's needs respite, but be sure to go back and decide after the conflict.
