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According to the results of the same in all we have a situation where people have worked for many years, and have worked hard enough (Is it just might be?), And their honestly earned wages were given elsewhere, some other people. Because they were there, where you need to. For example, while mom and dad struggled work to pay the mortgage for his huge house and pay for a babysitter service, babysitting, this experience Fortunately, she enjoys life in this house with these children (I have such happy and filled with nannies, stoned by children and communicate with them, I saw a very many). And there may be such that all these pleasures did not get one - no, they were not needed, and many years later, and the child himself has believed that there is nothing interesting and good in him.
Thus works hard and long a person in twenty years still want to pay - at once in all these years! And it requires - for those for whom and tormented. And who else? But do not give. That remains a dissatisfaction, a sense of deception and betrayal ...
But whose problem is, if we do not come for his "salary" of parents every single day? Who is to blame, that we forget that everything goes in the world, and children will be young only once? Who is responsible for the fact that the career and accomplishments for us is more important than children's tops and talk with them? Who pays for our decision when we are ready to send their children to kindergartens, nurseries, nannies, grandmothers sake some achievements, losing touch with them and losing everything that gives us so generously by kids Lord?
It is useless to wait for debt repayment from adult children. They can not give what you want, because they are already so many have given you, even though you do not have it all.
Children return the debt is not parents, they give the same to their children, and in the wisdom of life. And drink from the juice of adult children - meaning thereby deprive their own grandchildren, as it is sad.
"Sorry, Mom, I can not do anything to help you right now. What I have to tell you, I will give to your children. I am ready to give you thanks, respect and the necessary care when it is needed. That's all. More I can not help. Even if you really want to. "
This is the only thing that an adult child respond to his parents, demanding the return of the debt. Of course, he might try to throw it all forces, all his life, abandoning their future by investing not in their children, and parents. Only meet none of the sides of it will not.
We do not have anything directly to her parents. We have it all to your children. Here it is - our duty. Become parents and pass it all on. To give all kind of power forward, leaving nothing behind. Similarly, our children do not owe anything to us. They even do not have to live the way we want, and to be happy as we see it.
Our only fee for all - respect and gratitude. For all that has been done, how it was done, how much for us. Respect, as if the parents behave, what feelings would not arouse in us. Respect to those through whom our souls came into this world, who cared for us most days of helplessness and the vulnerability of those who loved us, as best he could and as best he could - with all his mental strength (a strength, not all lots).
Of course, we have the responsibility in the last years of life of our parents when they take care of themselves can no longer. It's not even the duty, it's just a human being. To do everything possible to help parents recover, help them in everyday life and the days of weakness. If we can not sit down with a number of ailing parent, to hire him a good babysitter, find a good hospital, where he will be the proper care, as far as possible - provedyvat, pay attention. And it would be good to help them to "leave the body right." That is, help them prepare for this transition, by reading books. Talking about it with spiritual people. But it is not a debt. It goes without saying, if we stored in itself something human.
More than anything, we do not have children. And we should not their parents. Only respect and gratitude - directly. And the transfer of the most valuable on. To give their children as much as we ourselves have received. A better - to give even more, especially love, acceptance and tenderness. Therefore, in old age to not stand with his hand out in front of their house, demanding payment, learn to enjoy today so that you so generously given above.
Hug them, indulge them, laugh together, snort their crown, talk about anything, not in a hurry, to wallow in bed, sing, dance, together open the world - whether a little different opportunities to experience with children happiness! And then the problems do not seem so difficult. And working mothers - a thankless and bearing down. Think of a sleepless night, cuddle little angel vkusnopahnuschee body, he lay down on his plump hand you - and live just easier. Just a little. Or even a little bit.
