There is some truth in the fact that the older generation knows little more about the relationship between men and women. But not all the advice and all the people should be applied to him and his family.
What advice can you hear from seniors, but they ruin your life?
1. Families without children - not family.
Family - it's two people who live as a couple and run a joint household. Families with a child - it's the same, plus a baby. The pair may not want to have children or not being able to do it due to medical or other reasons. From this it does not cease to be a family. And in any case do not need to feel guilty and blame themselves or a loved one that you are "not real" family, if you have no children. This is your life, only you are responsible for it, and only you can decide what will be the composition of your family. And if you still have a child, these same advisors You will hear: "Well, you know what they were doing, and we also suffered at the time."
Remember that the child in the family to appear when the want of his parents, and not foreign advisers. Based on the words of others, you can upstage his own opinion or the opinion of her husband about the children - and eventually destroy his family.
2. The wife should not argue with her husband.
On the days of morals. And as well, which in most countries have been times when the unconditional obedience of the women was the norm.
Equality of votes in the family - this is normal. Discussion and quality dispute in which the truth can be born - this is normal. Splash emotion and disagreement with someone else's opinion - this is normal. The wife is not obliged to be silent servant with her husband, it violates her human rights, and such advisers are stuck in the Middle Ages. You can ask them if they think the norm, when a husband beats his wife. If you hear in response: "Well, if deserved ..." - never listen to the opinion of the man. Moral and physical violence in the home is not allowed.
3. Endure-slyubitsya.
Tip of the same series as the total submission. If a family has a problem, they need to be addressed. And the forces of the two in tandem, and not through the advice of people who may not be up to the end to know and understand your family.
If your pair of faded feelings and there is a mutual desire to work on the continuation of the relationship, it was only the two of you need to decide what to do next. Parents are often advised to keep the marriage at all costs, even if the violence occurs in the family. Following this advice can cost you your life and health.
4. Families need to save for a child.
Yes, children, happiness should be important to parents. But living under the same roof mom and dad, who at best do not like each other, but because of the need to live together, sometimes just hate - do not make a child happy. Children understand a lot more than it might seem from the outside. And it is important that the mother did not cry into my pillow, and my father did not curse the whole world. And so the parents had enough happiness in life is to share it with the children.
5. It is useful to make porevnovat.
Counselors may consider that it is "refreshing" feeling and makes cheer partner. But jealousy - a sign of low self-esteem, and not the great love. And attempts to call her by artificial means can be treated simply as an unwillingness to continue the relationship. Not all respond to this surge of love and gifts. Such "jokes" can go too far and simply lead to divorce.
How to bring back the romance in a relationship without resorting to the slippery slope of jealousy, read our article.
6. The relationship can not be telling the whole truth.
Rather strange way to remain "a mystery" to his partner. If you are on long-term relationships based on love and respect, the third pillar, without which they fail, must be trust. And if you betray that trust by lying or holding back something, you assume that your partner does the same with you. On healthy relations between two adults, if you can not be open, be yourself, be honest to share plans and desires, can not speak.
It should be noted that we should not rush into extremes, and all the details to discuss with a partner sensitive issues like indigestion. But if you have a health problem, at least in general terms, he should know about it.
7. Check his wallet, phone, e-mail.
Again it is a question of trust. If your pair made freely browse the phone, mail, things to each other - and for sure you both do not mind - that is one thing. But everyone has the right to personal security space, which becomes a smartphone or a computer in the modern world. And this right must be respected. If your partner against the total control of his personal space on your part - it is better not to break its boundaries. It may happen, that's nothing new, and you do not know the secret, and undermine the confidence of a loved one forever.
8. Children - the most important thing in life, parents have to live for them.
In fact, often it turns out that the parents put all their lives and "the best years" of the fact that the child grew up happy and successful. In this case, they sacrifice their own interests, desires and ambitions that could eventually lead to the opposite result. Remember that the child did not ask to give birth to him, and he does not you should, poking him in the face a sacrifice to anything. The child is not obliged to justify your expectations, to become someone there, how do you come up with yourself, and should not have to pay and be responsible for the spent your years.
The life of each person alone, regardless of whether he has children or not. It does not get to break with the birth of the child until the moment when he becomes an adult. Of course, when he was just a baby, from mom and dad need some victims, because the life and safety of the child is completely in their hands. But the child should not become a center of the universe, pushing into the long-range plan immensely normal mom and dad needs rest, self-realization and in each other.
You will be interested in reading 5 signs that you lose yourself in a relationship.
