Grown children may make against his parents' anger, and then his father and mother it is important to respond to a child still continued to trust you. Due to age-storms kids can be rough
If teenager expressed their dissatisfaction or complaint in your address, it is important to assess the child's condition. For example, a teenager may feel miserable, misunderstood and insulted without any additional external factors, simply because of the age of storms.
How to respond to the child's claims
1. Hear
The task of parents - to turn off their perfectly legitimate offense ( "I did not sleep nights, and you're on the train going!") And try to understand what was going on. Perhaps the child does have reason to believe that he is treated like a little. Or he suffers from edifying monologues, or tired to meet your expectations and "to please my mother."
2. decrypt
The next step - decide what you can change and what is not ready to give up. But to begin to compare notes and talk about how you see the situation. For a teenager, "Do not forget the hat" means "You're so stupid that he can not get dressed for the weather." And you just had in mind that on the street sharply colder.
How to respond to a teenager claims 5 effective tips to parents / istockphoto.com
3. offer a compromise
- Discuss the conditions under which you are willing to increase the amount of pocket money a child or allow him to hold home parties. Or explain why you can not do it now, and when you're ready.
- It happens that the claims related to the long-past events. I sent for the summer to her grandmother - it was bad. Divorced dad - it was good. In this case, the answer is: I did so because at that time considered it an optimal solution. It is possible to think together about how to compensate for the damage, for example, go to a psychologist to talk about dad, to go together to the sea and to make up for lost time joy.
- It is not necessary to cultivate a sense of guilt when it is not for that experience. If the base is and you really understand what was wrong, we can and should ask for forgiveness. For example, for the fact that it is not transferred to a different school from the one where the grass and hurt because they do not recognize the seriousness of the situation.
4. See for yourself
Teenagers often do not criticize the methods of education, and of the parent: "At your age - and those jeans ?!", "Again you look this crap on TV!". Typically, this is nothing like an echo of our own relationship to the child, the endless "dressed up like a scarecrow" and "What did you just found this yutyube?".
But in any case, it makes sense to ask a young stylist, film critic, that he would advise you to wear and watch. Perhaps the idea will be sensible, and joint shopping trip and to discuss interesting series you really close.
5. resist
Manipulation of guilt - is one of the most popular. The parent will do anything to rectify the matter and to rehabilitate. But if for their suffering, whether real or imaginary, the child requires immediate satisfaction and bonuses, it is important to suppress. First and foremost for its own sake: to understand manipulation - a bad way to achieve the desired.
But the main and absolutely universal advice - talk and listen, ask questions, clarify and explain. In the end, as the psychologists joke, "if you doubt whether you are a good parent means, most likely, a good."
Also you will be interested to read this: TOP-7 bad advice how to raise a child of the victim, do not follow them
