No longer a child: how to explain to parents that you have grown up and not hurt them

Not all parents can admit that children have long grown up and may themselves take decisions. And, if they are unable to separate from the child, the adult children have to do it yourself.

baby forever

Parents who have a difficult to let go of the child, constantly telling them that they will always remain for them kids. You are 30 or 40 years - they do not care. This attitude is very annoying, because constantly have to prove: I - a grown man! Parents in this situation, "blind and deaf" - they do not see and do not want to hear that the child grew up long ago.

How do you know that there is no separation

Parents regularly give money. You have completed university and work, but parents still want to help you. they continue give money. And you accept them.

You urgently respond to their statements. The conversation ends or scandal or offense.

You can not communicate with their parents. Do you have a desire to stop communicating with their parents, because it brings you suffering.

You constantly ask advice from their parents. It is difficult to make a decision on their own, so all the questions you come to my mother.

Ignore my mother's advice. If Mom gives good advice, you are doing everything contrary to it.

You do not accept the rules of another family. You remember how to cook soup your mother as she folded and washed things, and if another family do differently - you do not take.

I miss my parents. Miss much of my childhood and regret that you have grown up.

How to tell my parents that you grew up?

The first rule - you have to live separately. Living on the territory of the parents about any separation can be no question.

Dosed tell about their lives. If you know that your mother will criticize, do not tell her that information. You do not have to consult with your parents for any reason, as an adult.

Discard the aid. Are you comfortable taking money from mom and dad. But you have grown yourself to make yourself able, and take care of yourself.

Set boundaries. Clearly limit the scope of what the life of your parents can not influence. Tell me what you do not want to listen to advice about the education of your children, nasty things about her husband and about what you hostess. Speak calmly, without scandals and cries.

Forgive grievances and thank them. Gratitude and forgiveness of injuries - is the key to freedom and separation.

And what if the parents are offended?

Parents can manipulate the children and take offense when they want to skim. You have to put up with this. When a child is born, he is not asked, will it hurt my mom? Childbirth - a first separation from their parents. Adult separation can be painful, but it is necessary for you and your parents to live happily.

You may need psychotherapy. After all, older children can also be a hidden benefit to live in a moral merger with parents or settings may be too strong. In this case, the psychologist will help you to understand this as painless as possible and go through the process of separation from the parents.

You will also be interested to know 5 Steps to a conscious life.