Every mother seeks to build a trusting relationship with her daughter, to be her true friend. Is it right and why, according to psychologists, such a "friendship" can ruin a child's life?
Of course, it is important to build a trusting relationship with the child, but in any case, the hierarchy of "adult-child" must be preserved and its boundaries should not be blurred. Why is the "friendly" relationship with his daughter may destructive act on the psyche of the child and how to keep the right attitude?
distortion of concepts
Mistakes in Raising daughters / istockphoto.com
Hierarchy in pairs "mother-daughter" and "friend-friend" is markedly different. If in the first pair, the mother - the authority, in the second, girlfriend completely equal, there is no hierarchy between them. If the mother becomes his girlfriend, she will not be able to influence the education of the child and to require the implementation of some requirements. This inevitably leads to conflicts, because when my mother today-girlfriend all permits and fun fighting pillows, and tomorrow mom-mom needs to prepare for exams, cause contradictions.
Parent - is the authority and the child should respect you, to listen to your opinion and take into account your wishes.
unhealthy competition
Between girlfriends competition is inevitable, they are measured in wardrobes, attention and other guys. But if between the girls of the same age is a normal healthy competition between mother and daughter - not so.
The mother should form a proper self-esteem in girls, and if it will behave like her peers, wear short skirts and guys to build his eyes, blurring the difference in age, nothing good comes out of this is not will be released.
neglect
Mom and daughter of the rules of conduct / istockphoto.com
Children receive from their parents energy, this flow must always be directed downwards. But if the mother feels her daughter girlfriend, then there is a mutual energy exchange and daughter deliberately deprived childhood and becoming an adult too soon. Give your child the opportunity to be a child, to feel the full attention and care of the mother, not the friend.
Age difference
Sometimes the difference in age can hide's Skin Care and clothing, but the experience and the outlook generated anywhere can not do. Mother - adult woman who does things and make decisions because of certain knowledge and experience that the daughter is not yet fluent. This can lead to confusion in the eyes of a child and a certain confusion. In addition, do not pull the blanket over himself, and to give the child to grow up on their own, making mistakes and filling his own cones.
The intention to keep
Sometimes a mother's desire to become the best friend - it's a way to control your child's life, to know about all the intentions, interests and plans. No matter how you try, the children get older and sooner or later will fly to build their own family out of the nest. Keep your daughter, be unquestionable support and support for it, but do not interfere in her life and poslabte control, the only way you will be able to bring a full and psychologically healthy person and to maintain excellent relationship.
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