Why husband yells and how to respond?

"Why did he do this to me?" - probably each of us to ask ourselves this question. When you hear the harsh words from the man she loved, from husbandClosest person - a sharp peaks hurts the heart. When the husband shouts, annoyed, angry, you pinches, you are lost, do not know what to say, scratchy throat squeezes a lump of resentment. Suddenly surging irritation, anger and resentment can ruin even a very close and cordial relations.

It is important to understand that negative emotions and feel natural as positive. But to place them in your life and you need to properly treat them wisely, if these peaks are flying straight at you.

Of course, if your husband frequently yells at you, this is not normal. And so you need to choose the right tactics and the right to respond in such a situation that conflicts It became possible to clarify the relationship and be honest with each other, rather than degrade them and disengage.

Let's understand the causes of such behavior of men and wise tactics of behavior:

1) fatigue and injury.

Society does not allow men to express resentment and fatigue. But they are people too, and these feelings are not alien to them. And because the cry, complain, ponyt that somehow can not express their fatigue them, they replace it irritation. Moreover, such a replacement in men occurs automatically, out of habit. After all, they can not be weak.

Therefore, if your loved one came home from work and just sprays poison on level ground, not in a hurry to take this irritation at his own expense, and also to react in response. It is better to ask a simple question: "Tough day?" "Tired?", "What happened?". Perhaps these simple questions will help clarify your man for himself the reason for his emotional outburst, and he realized it, he apologizes. And already when the fire subsides, the question can be raised about whether it is acceptable for your relationship to hurt each other cry? And make the right decision for your family or rules of conduct.

2) The projection.

This irritation did not arise because of your actions, but because of, for example, the behavior of superior, subordinate, words, mom... But in public or to communicate with them, he does not allow himself to pour out his anger and suffering, carries it home. And at home, in front of the closest man to let off steam. Therefore, cry and anger directed at you actually.

Ask: Who is your favorite upset? Who awakened in him the dragon? He starts talking about angering his situation or person, he, too, to blow off steam, but it will not hurt you.

3) The need for and thanks Approval

The man often entrusted the sacred duty to care for family welfare. Man, honestly and courageously carry out this task, it wants approval, praise, recognition. But he was ashamed to ask directly, as is, unfortunately, is considered a shame to do.

We get used to a certain level of prosperity, it is becoming the norm. And we forget to tell each other the kind words. And this is very important.

Try it in your eyes say you love your man, even angry and screaming and what he done. Such a kind of Aikido - you dodge a direct collision - will give your family a lot of resources. In fact, after these words, the man there a sense that you understand it, appreciate, you are grateful to him. And so it will be ready for your request to be with you in the same careful as you are with him.

4) features of character.

If all the methods tried, and do not help, there is another reason. Most, perhaps, difficult to work out. Cry - it was his nature, he does so often, and with everybody yelling at you, children, neighbors, on subordinates. Shouts driving, outdoors, at work, on the playground ...

It's his nature. And, unfortunately, in this situation it is very difficult to change a person without his desires. And often, these men and do not want to change, preferring to blame everyone and everything. In such men are wrong, but he is one - the smartest.

This pathology is the nature of poisons relationships, spoil the mood, lowers self-esteem. Constant feelings of guilt and pangs form the wife and children of the victim.

It is important to understand that it is - normal. And it should not be. You are worthy of respect. The family should be a comfortable environment that supports you, not the battlefield, where you have to constantly defend and justify. In this case, you need to understand for yourself whether you are willing to accept her man as he is? Or you are not satisfied with it so that you are ready to go their own way, if nothing changes?

Conflict - it is the driving force behind the development of the world, and it should not be confused with abuse. After the conflict peacefully clarify the relationship, we can get a lot of resources for yourself and relationships, see and accept the features of another person to get closer.