Children - is not only happiness and joy, but also anxiety, responsibility and the ability to timely release from the parental nest. Why do I need to let the children grown up and how to prepare?
Often there are situations when children who are away for twenty or even thirty years old, are not able to takea single decision without her mother's helpand tips. And it's not the fault of "Sissy" and their mothers, who at the time did not let go of the child, did not give him the opportunity to get your own life experience, make mistakes and have grown uncertain, restless and infantile personality. How not to commit such mistakes and time to let the adult child.
Adjust their behavior.Teens - it is not quite children, so that the manner of behavior that parents can use when children are young, is not necessary. If your child is 13 or older, you learn to perceive it as an adult, learn to trust him, to build a good and trusting relationship, consult with him and respect his opinion.
Accept the fact that the views of
your childmay completely coincide with yours, and learn to respect them. Teach your child to be more independent, do not rush to make decisions for him, even if he makes a mistake, but realizes his mistake and get invaluable experience that in the future it will come in handy.Moderate your care and custody.It is important to understand that the child grew up, he was not three years old, when you guarded against any danger and not even 10 years old when worried leaving for the first time at home alone. Your child - a teenager, and this means that very soon he will start his own life away from you and so now, you have to learn not to fear for the child, and give him more autonomy and learn trust. A child of 15 years is very clear to his needs, he is sure to eat when hungry and dressed, if frozen, it is best to talk him about his plans for life, dreams and desires, but do not impose their views and do not decide everything for him because "I am a mother and I know how to be it's better". Do not know, because you will not be able to live for his child's life, but the sooner teach him to be independent, the more successful will be his way.
Fight fear for your child's future.Take the child and his desires, do not force it, and learn to hear. Let him take responsibility for mistakes. Not worth it in my head to draw terrible pictures and think, "what if": External testing will not give up, do not go to college, not wants to do, etc. You can express your opinion in a peaceful dialogue, but to support any decision his child. Do not yell at him hysterically, he will as a loader or a taxi driver, and send it in the right direction and help in the future to survive the bitter experience with the wrong decision. Believe me, the experience teaches better than any teacher.
Take care of yourself. The fact that you "will give your child all of herself," no one needs and adult child never to you for it does not say thank you, but you will be very sad and painful. So let go of his son or daughter to float freely, and themselves be engaged in your life you've been putting off: build career, sign up for a sport, get a hobby, travel and grow, but do not interfere with their adult son or daughter live own life. And when you will have grandchildren, offer assistance, but does not impose.
Of course, it is not always easy - to lower, because in your child's heart will always live your particle heart, but the desire to take care of too, to protect and to do everything for them and ruin your life and the life of your child.
Also be sure to ask about Who are the "toxic" parents and why they cripple the psyche of their children
Picture text: istockphoto.com
