How to help a child when he is afraid? Psychologist Svetlana Roiz shared practices that will help to cope with fear
Because of the war in Ukraine, the topic of fears in children of all ages is now exacerbated. Stress provoked the fact that the child could have passed in his "age norm" for a long time. Psychologist Svetlana Roiz shared simple practices that will help a child overcome fear. Adults can also use them. So, if your child is afraid, you need to...
1. Invite him to imagine that there is a luminous sphere around him. With palms (pantomime) we build boundaries around ourselves. Everything that frightens remains behind this ball. It is made up of your own strength and our love.
2. Offer to squeeze our hand tightly. To say - you have so much strength that will help you cope with any fear.
3. We return the child to the feeling of "current" - we ask you to touch several objects that are different in texture and temperature, find 2-3 objects green color (green is perceived as calm, safe), drink water, say “brrrrrrr”, do some funny give birth.
4. Push away the terrible image with your hands - throw it away from you with a sound.
5. Rub your palms, put them on your kidneys, rub your palms, put them on your ribs, then rub your palms and tap your body like you're beating a rug.
6. Teach your child - that he has a "magic button" that helps to cope with fear - is located between the little finger and ring finger.
7. Imagine that we reduce the scary - to such a size that you can clench into a fist, hide in a matchbox
8. Shout out loud: "Fear, go away! I am not afraid of you!"
9. Add some funny detail to the frightening image (for example, to the image of an evil person - a bow, or huge elephant ears, or chicken quotes)
Helps calm down reading books
10. If a child is frightened by an image that he saw in a cartoon - a movie - a picture of a terrible event - imagine that we send this image back to the cartoon. In the world of cartoon, video. We clap our hands, as if “sealing” this image again in the cartoon. You can suggest - in the imagination to erase this image with an elastic band.
If a child was frightened by a bad dream - after waking up, like directors - we change the plot
11. If the child was frightened by the sound - massage the ears, be sure to say - it was the sound (such)... Everything has already worked out. we are safe.
12. Imagine that we reduce fear and put it in a safe. We close the safe with a lock, tie it with a chain, a rope and send it somewhere to a distant planet or underground or ocean.
Do not make fun of the child's fear, hug him and tell him that you understand him
How to support a child when he is afraid
When a child says that he is scared, his biggest fear is that he will not be accepted, ridiculed. We perceive the most amazing fear as real - it is in the reality of the child. and help the child without devaluing his feelings. If we tell her - there is nothing to worry about - she will not stop being afraid. She will be left alone with fear
Any difficult situation can become a bridge for intimacy.
Algorithm:
- Support: Instead of words - you are great, there is nothing to be afraid of (these words are rational, they sound like depreciation) - you look scared. I see that you are scared.
- Proximity: I'm with you (you can say with words you can hug, pick up, take the hand) what are you afraid of? - it is important for us that the child moves from the general "I'm afraid" to a specific
I'm afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of being attacked by monsters, I'm afraid of getting lost
When we know what exactly scares the child, we can choose the way of transformation.
- Normalization: You know, I was afraid at your age and even now sometimes I am afraid. What's happening right now is really scary. I know for sure that we can handle it. We can do with you:
- Transformation: (specific actions and practices) (which are already there above).
You will also be interested in reading:
What is your child afraid of: fears of children of different ages
Night terrors in children: how to help
