Does your child have an Oedipus complex: a fairy tale-test "Walk"

The Oedipus complex is most clearly manifested in children aged 2.5-5 years. Boys can inflame with very strong feelings for their mother, become jealous of her father, in every possible way fight with him for her attention. A child can repel dad, do not want to communicate with him, say that he is bad. Indeed, in the eyes of a boy who suffers from the Oedipus complex, the father is his rival. The name of this state was given by Sigmund Freud, he took it from ancient Greek mythology. In one of the myths, Oedipus unknowingly kills his father and marries his mother.

In girls, the same behavior can manifest itself towards the mother, because in their eyes she is their rival. In this case, this behavior is called the Electra complex.

To understand whether your child has an Oedipus / Electra complex or not, tell him this story. It is of a test nature. This fairy tale test was compiled by child psychologist Louise Duss.

Version of a fairy tale for a boy

“One boy went for a walk in the forest with his mother. They walked for a long time, and both of them felt good. When they returned home, they saw that the expression on Dad's face had changed. What expression did dad have and why? "

Option for a fairy tale for a girl

“One girl went for a walk in the forest with her father. They walked for a long time, and both of them felt good. When they returned home, they saw that the expression on my mother's face had changed. What expression did your mother have and why? "

Typical normal responses:

• "He has a happy face because they came home."
• "He has a tired face because he was at work."
• "He had an angry face because they hadn't come back for a long time and he became worried about them."
• "He came home from work, and no one is at home and dinner is not ready."

Answers to watch out for:

• "He feels bad because he got sick."
• "He got sick because they left and left him alone."
• "He's angry because when they went out for a walk, she locked the door and left him locked."
• "He is angry because he wanted to go for a walk with them, but the boy and his mother did not take him with them."
• "He cried because he thought they would never come back."

These answers may indicate that the child is developing or has already developed the Oedipus complex.

What to do if a child has an Oedipus complex

1. Do not overreact to manifestations of the Oedipus complex. There is no need to shout at the child for this, to scold, and even more so to punish. Calmly explain why you shouldn't behave this way. Tell that a mother cannot become a wife to her son, and a father cannot become a husband of her daughter.

2. You cannot kiss a child on the lips, swim with him in the bathroom - any actions that can fuel his unhealthy attraction to a parent of the opposite sex should be prohibited.

3. By the age of 5, as a rule, the Oedipus-Electra complex passes. If not, or if you see that emotions are heating up and the child is too vigorously defending his rights to the parent of the opposite sex, then you should contact a child psychologist. Do not close your eyes to this problem and think that it will resolve itself. If it is not solved in childhood, when the child grows up, it can be fraught with problems in building relationships with the opposite sex.

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