Punished for bullying: a Kiev woman won a trial against her daughter's abuser

To Children's Day website kolobok.ua and training project IKiD organized competition. In order to take part in it, it was necessary to send us a drawing or story, a story on the topic of child safety. And today our jury unanimously awarded the victory to the Kiev woman Elena Shatseva. Together with her daughter, she punished a high school student for bullying. Elena won the court against him, despite the sticks in the wheels, which were inserted at all stages. This story is about the strength of the spirit and motherly love, about the need to protect your child even when everyone says: "Come on, you won't succeed."

Congratulations to Elena on the victory, thank you for an example of true parental love and care for the safety of your child and we present a prize - an individual online consultation on the topic of children's safety from

Elena Lizvinskaya, the head of the IKiD project.

The story of a great victory over bullying

Elena Shatseva has twins, 12 years old. One of them has been constantly offended by a 9th grade student since the beginning of the school year. Seeing that the school did not solve this problem in any way, Elena decided to take the situation into her own hands and went to court. At the end of April, she won the case: the offender was found guilty and was charged a maximum fine of UAH 3400 for bullying. Elena spoke in detail about what she had to go through to protect your child and get justice. Here is her story.

How it all began

My girls went to a distance school. And in 2020, having decided that socialization is still needed, they switched to the usual one.

Literally right away, the daughters began to tell that the school was good, but there is a ninth-grader who offends children. One of the twins didn’t say it was about her because she didn’t want to upset me. I recently underwent surgery for oncology. These stories did not bother me too much, because the girls have red belts in aikido, and I was sure that they would be able to stand up for themselves.

But, as it turned out, my daughter could not resist outright rudeness, insults and humiliation. Over time, she nevertheless admitted what was happening. I immediately called the class teacher to clarify what was happening and how I could influence the situation. The teacher said that the boy has been keeping the whole school in tension and fear since 2017. Encourages fights and removes it all on video, disrupts lessons, offends other children. And, as a rule, from the lower grades. But no one can find justice for him all this time.

Bullying at its best

The next day, while I was pondering what to do right, a situation happened that made me act more decisively. My daughter was walking with her friend around school, and this boy with the company of two more children stopped them, pushed, knocked the phone out of his friend's hands, started laughing and insulting.

My daughter, seeing that they offend her friend, approached the class teacher. She gathered all the participants in the incident, invited the head teacher, a methodologist. Despite the presence of teachers, this boy shouted and interrupted everyone. As a result, he was even asked to leave the classroom.

My daughter recorded all this on a dictaphone in the phone. When I listened to this tape, firstly, I was amazed that a 14-year-old child can behave this way with teachers. Secondly, I realized that the teaching staff could not do anything with him and it was necessary to decide everything by herself.

Powerless school board

The day after this story, I came to school and wrote a statement to the director that my child had been bullied since September. After that, the class teacher called me and said that a prevention council was going to, to which the parents of the bullying boys are invited, me and the parents of a friend of my daughter, whose phone they knocked out of his hands. Services for minors, family and youth affairs, representatives of the juvenile police were also invited to this council.

The high school student did not show up with his parents. Two other boys with their parents came. They testified that it was he who incited them, promised that they would not do this anymore. The mother of my daughter's friend said that all this was enough for her and that she would not do anything further. I decided to go further, because I understood that since this boy has been terrorizing the school since 2017, the teachers cannot do anything. As a result, feeling impunity and permissiveness, he behaves just awfully.

Reporting to the police

Therefore, I wrote a statement to the police. There the investigator tried to convince me that it was worth giving up this venture. He advised to solve the issue by force: to find a strong man who would teach this child a good lesson. The investigator began to tell that nothing would be achieved. Because the algorithm of actions in such cases is violated. Like, the school was supposed to record the first appeal of my child. Immediately create a commission that was supposed to sort out what was happening within 24 hours: interview witnesses, teachers, children. And all this should be passed to the police within 24 hours. “Since this has not been done, you will not be able to prove anything,” the investigator argued. But I told him that they would try it anyway. To which he told me that you need to describe in detail each case of bullying: the date, the time, the place where everything happened.

It was difficult to do, because a lot of time had passed since September. But we still sat down with my daughter with a calendar and tried to remember all the main points.

I brought the statement to the investigator several times. And every time he said that something needs to be changed. Now I understand that he was pulling the rubber. I didn't have to apply as a lawyer or as a lawyer. As a result, I filed an application on February 11, and I was summoned to court only on March 29.

First three court hearings

Only me and my daughter and the director came to it as a witness. The defendants - dad and son - did not appear. They didn't explain, they didn't warn them, they just didn't come.

The director was determined. He had documents from the prevention council and other social services in his hands. He was confident that we would be fine.

The second meeting was scheduled in 2 weeks. The defendants did not appear again, and the director fell ill.

After another 2 weeks, the third session was scheduled, and now the defendants came to it. There was also a director.

Father and son behaved very defiantly. The boy laughed in my eyes, grinned. Dad behaved insolently too. Interrupted by the judge, the director, who acted as a witness. When he wanted to read the description, the son said, for example: "This is not relevant." For some reason, the judge was silent.

Then when the judge began to read out my statement, which included the dates of the incidents, my father turned to the director: "Do you have information on each date?" The director was confused. He did not have it, because I wrote this statement with the investigator. He had on his hands the statement that I wrote at school.

Then the father said that he required to call witnesses and those who were on the prevention council. As a result, the psychologist, the head teacher, our class teacher and the class teacher of this boy were summoned to the court.

Things take a bad turn

The hearing was rescheduled the next day. And we went to it not so confident in ourselves. My daughter burst into tears the night before. She said that she would not go anywhere, that everything was useless and we only made ourselves worse. But I still managed to convince her that it is necessary to bring the matter to the end.

We met the teachers outside the courtroom. At the sight of us, they abruptly fell silent and did not speak to us.

The first witness, the head teacher, confirmed that the boy really hurt both my daughter and other children.

Then the class teacher was called, she also confirmed the fact of bullying. But I noted to myself that the witnesses from the school are trying to hide the fact that they know that my child has been offended more than once. Later I realized that they were doing this because the fact of hiding bullying is an article and a fine on the school. Therefore, the teachers said that they learned about the fact of bullying from my words and that I asked not to interfere. They just twisted my words. When I was asked at school “why didn’t you apply before?” I said that my daughter didn’t want to upset me and wanted to decide everything herself. They twisted these words and said that I myself asked not to interfere. Like, let the child figure it out himself. It is not true. Because as a sane adult, he can say that let the 6th grader deal with the 9th grader herself.

But most of all I was struck by the psychologist of the school. She began to say that the boy was not bad. They say, yes, there are some moments, but all teenagers have them. Like, after conversations with her, this boy for 2-3 months behaves perfectly.

I was so taken aback by such testimony that I was at a loss and said nothing.

After her “speech”, dad said: “Well, why are we sitting here. You heard, my child is normal, does not bother anyone. "

Long-awaited victory

We were assigned another meeting, to which Dad wanted to call more boys accomplices. And also the class teacher of her child.

When I wrote to my friend how things were going, she said that I needed to get a lawyer. But I have no material opportunity to pay for his services. Since I am a disabled person of the third group and I have minor children, I have the right to a free lawyer. But I couldn't find him. On the phones that were on the Internet, they did not answer, then they redirected them to other phones. And these transfers didn’t work for 2 days.

In general, I decided to take matters into my own hands and still fight to the end. Before the meeting, I thoroughly prepared myself: I put questions to the witnesses. And with this piece of paper and a cold head I came to court.

The child witnesses did not come. But the boy's class teacher came to the meeting. The boy smiled at her, and I realized that she would be on his side. The teacher began by saying that she was seeing me for the second time in her life. That the boy is, yes, a little crazy, but not bad, and that in general he is her right hand in class.

On this wave, dad decided to ask the question: “Is my child really as bad as the applicant says? Does he offend other children? "

To which the teacher replied - very gently - that the boy still disrupts lessons and offends other children.

To which dad said: "There were also other children during this incident."

But the class teacher said that the child witnesses testified that your son was the instigator.

The boy's father, seeing that his questions only made it worse, decided to shut up. And then I started asking questions.

I asked: for what reason is the boy registered at the school. And then the judge interrupted me: "Let me rephrase the question - is the boy registered at school?" At this moment, I am finally convinced that he did not even read the case.

I ask the following question: "Does he offend not only my child, but other children as well?"

The teacher replies: “He offends other children as well, but these are verbal skirmishes. There was no physical violence. "

I remember that before that she told that he passed and pushed the girl and asked a counter question: "Do you think pushing is physical or verbal violence?"

The teacher had no choice but to admit that it was still physical violence.

The father then stated that he wanted to familiarize himself with the materials of the case. To which the judge replied: "Okay, write an application and they will send you". I asked the judge: "Has the court familiarized itself with the materials?" To which the judge replied: "That now we are all together and get acquainted." And he began to read the case.

When he started reading - my statement, documents from the prevention council, information from social services, dad just grabbed his head and looked at the floor. It said that the boy spits at the teachers, swears, opens the door to the classroom with his feet, provokes fights and videotapes them, disrupts lessons, is rude to teachers, beats the younger ones. Once he closed the whole class, propping up the door, and the children could not go out for recess, and much more.

Judging by the intonation, the judge was shocked, and I was once again convinced that he had not read the case before. If I had read it, there would not have been so many meetings.

But even after all that he had heard, dad continued to stand up for his son with a mountain and say that all this was provoked against him. That this is bullying against the son and against him.

The next day we went to court again to hear the verdict. Dad and the boy waited 20 minutes. When they arrived, the child's father tried again to protect his child. He started asking me questions, for example, why we moved to this school. But the judge interrupted him and said that these questions are not substantive. And he read out the verdict: to be found guilty. Our offender was assigned a maximum fine of UAH 3400 (minimum - UAH 850). Father, having heard the verdict, rushed out of the courtroom.

I am glad that I did not give up and that we still managed to defeat bullying. Otherwise, the daughter would live with the installation that evil can be unpunished, that she can be offended, and nothing will happen to her offender. Now she was convinced that it was not. At school, this boy is now behaving quieter than water, below the grass. Doesn't even come to my daughter.

At the time the article was published, the parents of the high school student decided to take their son from our school.

You will also be interested to read:

Instead of a deuce: students want to be fined for insulting students

Stop bullying: types of bullying in class and how to resist it