How to criticize your husband so that he does not take offense

Men love compliments more than women and react more sharply to criticism than women. But in couple relationship criticism is unavoidable. The main thing is to apply it correctly.

So, 7 rules on how to point out to a man his mistake and at the same time not lead to a quarrel.

1. Only criticize in private

In no case should you criticize a man (anyone) in public if you have no goal of falling out with him once and for all.

Criticism in front of strangers is perceived by men as humiliation. And even if he doesn't show it right away, he will be very offended inside.

Remember that children and other relatives are also "the public". Do not undermine the authority and importance of a man in their eyes.

First of all, you are a couple and one team, should be on the side of each other, even if one of you made a mistake, and criticism in public puts you on opposite sides of the "barricades".

2. Talk about actions, not personality

A well-known preim, which is constantly forgotten by everyone. Separate the man's personality from his actions. He was not stupid, but acted unreasonably, he was not irresponsible, but acted without regard to the consequences.

And, of course, do not use the words "always", "never", "in general" - this is an unnecessary exaggeration that shows that you only see the bad deeds of a man.

3. Talk about your feelings

If the man's actions hurt you, hurt you or caused any inconvenience, then talk about specific things related to you, without going into abstract accusations.

Perhaps the man did not even realize that he offended you. Accordingly, this must be said directly. Just do not overdo it with "I-phrases." Otherwise, it will seem that you are indifferent to the reasons for the man's act and he himself, but only cares about your own state.

4. Balance criticism with praise

Moreover, the praise should not be formal (just to say about something "for show"), but sincere and for real actions or human qualities.

And it is important to first praise, make a compliment, let the man feel his importance - and only then express criticism in the correct form.

5. Think in advance if criticism is needed in this case

Criticism can break out completely involuntarily. And the speaker thinks that he is "just expressing an opinion", not thinking that his words can hurt, although the other person did not deserve it.

For example, a man gave you a gift, but not the one you expected. No, if he gave you spare parts for the car, which he needs first of all, - this is perhaps a shame. Or he brought flowers, forgetting that you are allergic.

But if he gave the wrong flowers, an insufficiently expensive gift, did not perfectly vacuum the floor - is it really worth blaming him for this? Either he is slow or, on the contrary, quick-tempered by virtue of temperament - it is pointless to criticize here, little depends on the person himself.

And you always need to speak directly. If you are against the man spending the evening with friends, and not with you, then say so, and do not let go, and then lash out with criticism and reproaches.

6. Talk about problems as they arise

There is no need to accumulate resentment and irritation in yourself. Now you are trying to suppress negative emotions so as not to offend the man, but sooner or later the cup of patience will overflow - and there will be an emotional "explosion". And then criticism and quarrel will definitely go "not according to the rules."

If the man did not know that all this time you were offended or were dissatisfied with something, then for him what is happening will be a shock. Just think, I didn't bring my socks to the washing machine, why such a scandal? He doesn’t know that you have been boiling every time for six months at the sight of your socks scattered about.

So talk about your feelings when you can do it as correctly, calmly and intelligibly as possible.

7. Never use insults

No matter how angry you are, this emotion will subside. But the words that you have time to say will not go anywhere and will remain in your relationship with a man forever.

Put yourself a taboo on any obscene and offensive words.

In a couple's relationship, there are very emotional moments when it seems that this very relationship has come to an end and you can not hold back your words. But very little time will pass - and you will probably regret what you said, even if your couple really breaks up.

And if you do not want a divorce and separation, then all the more you need to carefully monitor what and how you talk to each other without expecting to be attacked in any way, and at the same time not allowing the insult to your address.

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