What to do if a child is afraid of bad grades

Schooling often turns into a pursuit of estimates - which distorts the essence of the educational process. After all, the main thing is the knowledge and skills themselves, and not the mark set, which may have a number of subjective prerequisites.

If your child has an excellent student's syndrome and is afraid of bad grades - most likely, this is your, yes, parental handiwork. The syndrome is much more serious than it might seem. Some children even lay hands on themselves because of not very good grades.

How can you help your child depend less on excellent grades?

1. Assessment is not objective

Both children and adults should remember this. Sometimes grades are reduced for objective indicators, but more often they still remain subjective. And it is definitely not worth focusing on them, evaluating the real quality of their knowledge.

It is only necessary to compare the child's achievements with his past achievements - that's all.

2. Parents shouldn't be angry

Now, if you think objectively - what does parental anger give for the next three? Is it motivating? No. Does it provide more knowledge? No. Does this explain incomprehensible material and simplify the teacher's work? No.

Parents should always be on the side of the child. If something does not work out for him, you need to understand the reason, and not just scold. Otherwise, the problem won't go away and bad grades won't go away. But the trust and intimacy will disappear from your relationship.

Parental disappointment. Sometimes the parents themselves add fuel to the fire, explaining that the child should study with only A's. The kid is so afraid of punishment, so afraid of parental anger, that he begins to fear bad grades. For him, a bad mark is not an assessment of knowledge, it is a parental disappointment. No one wants to upset their parents, so many schoolchildren are panicky afraid of bad grades, which are sometimes unfair.

3. Don't compare your child to others

“Others got higher grades,” “others did better,” let's say so. Now what? Does this make your child bad? Do you love him less? He has an individual pace of development, his own psyche, his own skills and abilities - and he applies them as much as he can, if not to press and help motivate.

Comparison with another child has never motivated anyone.

4. Let the child do it himself

If the child does not succeed in something - a drawing, drawing, craft, etc. - this is not a reason to do everything for him. This kills initiative and independence, the child then simply does not want to even try to do something himself.

5. Invite your child to rate themselves

So he learns to analyze what he did well and what was bad, how his work looks from the outside, what are the strengths and weaknesses. This may be difficult for a younger student, but after discussion with his parents, he can better understand the merits and demerits of his work.

You will also be interested to read:

• 5 reasons why kids choose to be Losers
• How to motivate your child - 11 tips for parents
• How to motivate your child to go to school