The child does not want to go to school: what to do? Psychologist Natalia Borisova's answer

There are children who are just waiting for the start studyto gnaw the granite of science. And there are those who go to school, as if to hard labor, or even refuse. Why this is happening, and how to help the student, we learned from Natalia Borisova, a reality psychologist "From the Boy to the Lady".

Who is guilty?

A student's reluctance to attend lessons in most cases appears through no fault of the child. Therefore, we are in no hurry to place all the responsibility on him, but try to calmly understand the causes of the problem.

You need to seriously, but at the same time, without pressure, talk to your child. He may not reveal the main reason for the negative attitude towards school the first time, disguise it as less significant. For example, he became a victim of bullying, but in order not to upset his parents, he says that he is tired. Only by knowing the true cause can parents be able to solve the problem. Why does the child refuse to go to school?

Peer relationships don't work out

It can be normal child fights, but it can also be bullying when your child is constantly beset by one person or group of children.

What to do?

The situation here is ambiguous. If you are protecting your daughter, going to school and having a serious conversation with the bully, their parents, management, and teachers will feel natural and can be beneficial.

If we are talking about protecting a boy, such actions are acceptable, perhaps, only in the primary school, sometimes in the middle, depending on the situation. Sometimes it is better to change schools.

If the reason for bullying is not only in the environment, but also in the child himself (for example, he has a difficult character), more attention should be paid to raising him. It will not be superfluous to consult a psychologist.

Bad relationships with teachers

It is important here to communicate with the parents of the child's classmates. This will help to find out if the teacher really has a difficult character, and the children are unhappy with him, or only your child did not work out with him.

What to do?

Do not rush to look for another class or school for your child. Talk to your teacher first and get their point of view. If the teacher is scandalous, explains the material poorly, offends children, and it is impossible to influence him in any way, then it makes sense to transfer the student to another educational institution.

"Home"child

Elementary children who have not attended kindergarten often may not want to go to school. New faces, new rules, responsibilities cause strong apathy.

What to do?

Try not to leave your child in the after-school group, but take him home immediately after class - then he will spend more time in the familiar "world".

Schoolboytired

Especially at risk of overwork are schoolchildren whose parents force them to do everything perfectly, as well as those who additionally attend clubs and sections.

What to do?

Reduce the requirements for the child, let him rest, switch. Allocate at least 2-3 days off. On vacation, you should generally not load it with additional activities, but take it to rest or give a lot of free time.

New school

When moving, parents are forced to change educational institution. The child begins to miss his former classmates, sometimes opposing them to new friends. In his eyes, the new school is worse than the old one, there are no friends here, the teachers are also “not like that”.

What to do?

Make it clear that you share the child's experiences and are ready to help him. Remind you that you can communicate with old friends on weekends, on vacations, using social networks and instant messengers. It is also important to emphasize that the children and teachers in the new school are not worse than the previous ones - the child is simply not used to them yet. Help him make new contacts and not lose old ones.

First love

In high school, it is amorous problems that come to the fore among children. Sometimes this can motivate them to study, in other cases, on the contrary - they abandon their studies. And they do it both because of successful personal relationships (so good that there is no time to study), and as a result of an unsuccessful love experience (so bad that you don't want to go to school).

What to do?

If the child's personal relationship is going well, invite his “half” to visit. Unobtrusively make it clear that love, of course, is good, but it should not interfere with learning. Explain that if they become Losers, it will not improve their relationship. And vice versa: if they teach lessons together, they can help each other, and this will unite them even more.

In the case of unsuccessful relationships, the algorithm of actions is completely different. It is important to let the child feel the support of loved ones. Sometimes it will not be superfluous to provide psychological assistance.