10 secrets of ideal parents

Parents really know best what they need. to kid. But only if they know how to correctly understand his desires and needs.

Here 10 recommendations of psychologiststo better understand your children.

Watch the baby

Pay attention to how the child reacts in an unfamiliar situation, how quickly he adjusts, what he loves most do what motivates him, how he reacts to other children and adults, whether he is willing to keep up a conversation or something share?

It is important not to compare your baby to others. Each child is unique - and the set of his qualities and characteristics is also unique.

Spend quality time with your child

What matters is not the amount of time spent together, but the quality. Just being close to your phone is not an option.

Talk about what is important to the child, share your impressions and emotions, discuss events and situations.

Play together, walk. Talking is not always necessary - some children like to just be quiet together.

Be genuinely interested in your child's relationship with friends, what kind of music he likes, what kind of people are his authority.

Do not deal with the child in parallel with something else

If you spend time with your child, then devote 100% of your time to him.

Conversations while driving or during cleaning / cooking and other activities let the child know that he is just another parallel task for you, no more important than the others.

And sharing something with someone who doesn't really listen is not very pleasant. Very quickly, the child will begin to respond briefly and reluctantly.

Take an interest in the child's environment

The people around your child, in particular friends, have a significant impact on their behavior.

Parents should know with whom the child communicates, what he is interested in and does with friends.

The environment at home and at school is equally important. Aggression or excessive isolation, for example, does not appear out of nowhere, all of this has a reason in something that surrounds the child, in the relationship of his parents, the behavior of teachers and classmates.

Let your child talk

Listen to how and what your child says when talking about something. It may be difficult for him to express his thoughts, therefore, pay attention not only to words, but also to facial expressions, gestures, tone, on which words are emphasized.

Analyze what emotions the child is experiencing and transmitting, whether he is under stress or afraid of something.

Make it clear to your child that you hear and take him seriously. Don't ask many questions, let him talk as much as he wants.

Help your child express emotions

Children express their feelings and emotions not only in words. And sometimes you need to help them in this.

Draw with your child, suggesting themes, but not limiting your imagination.

Tell us how you can keep a personal diary if the child has already grown up to this way of reflection. There does not have to be something secret, rethinking all the good and bad that happened during the day is also very useful. Of course, parents are not allowed to enter this diary.

Talk to your child about his drawings. Tell us how you see and feel when you look at his work. Ask what the child wanted to convey, how he feels.

Ask open-ended questions

Ask in such a way that the child cannot simply answer "yes / no". Open-ended questions help to develop the conversation, encourage people to share their feelings.

For example, a child returned from the street. You can ask who he went out with. Or you can find out what games they played. This will nudge the child towards a larger story.

You can ask if the child likes the cartoon, or you can find out what he thinks about the decision of the main character, what he would do himself.

Don't ignore your child's questions

Children love to ask a lot of questions. Parents do not have answers to all of them. And sometimes there is simply no time or patience to answer.

If you ignore the child's questions, he will stop asking them. But a little time will pass - and you will already start asking the distant child about something, and he will ignore you.

Answer the children's questions, look for answers together, do not call his questions stupidity, no matter what he asks.

Learn more about the normal development of children

The wrong way is to compare your child with others. The right way is to seek expert opinion.

Read books and articles on child and adolescent psychology, age development, conflict management, so it will be easier for you to understand how a child should develop at a particular age.

Develop your child's emotional intelligence

Teach your child to express and manage their emotions, to understand themselves and others, to empathize and empathize.

An important part of developing emotional intelligence is parenting.

Respect the temperament and personality of the child - and teach him to show the same respect for the feelings of others.

You will also be interested to read:

• 5 ways to teach your child the most important things in life
• 15 vital things to explain to your son
• The child fell into a bad company - what to do?