In psychology, there is such a term - "good enough mother." It was first introduced Donald Woods Winnicott - British therapist and a pediatrician. What qualities must have a good mother according to psychologists?
Signs of a good mother according to psychologists / istockphoto.com
She is
A good mother is not lost for longer than a few days, it does not throw the baby to go away for six months on a business trip and did not work from morning till night. But we are all people, we can get sick, and we may have different circumstances and reasons to keep the baby. Therefore, the mother should replace the resource figure, a man who also loves the child. it can be grandmother, Dad, babysitter - but that person must give the child a lot of warmth and acceptance.She emotionally "included" in the child's
How would my mother was not busy, she realizes that no one will replace it. Therefore, it is possible to spend time with the child, to understand it. Then she learns to accept the whole range of feelings that the child is going through and help them live it.
She knows how to cope with emotions
Good time mom can stop his anger, aggression and fear for the child. Yes, it may not always succeed, it can fall apart, but if she tries, she can say, embracing the child: "All is well, my child," - then she was a good mother.
it is wrong
Just because it is alive. According to Winnicott, about 30% of cases, the mother is wrong. And it bugs child needs. It is the mother he was "trained" to cope with anger, resentment, sadness.
If you consider yourself to be a perfect mother, which is able to predict all the desires of the child, the psychologists believe that you are bluffing and issue a increased anxiety for the ideal.
Baby for her - not the center of the universe
Good mother has its own life separate from the child. She has the right to take a break from it and do not feel guilty for it.
Signs of a good mother according to psychologists / istockphoto.com
She does not live for the sake of the child
She does not give up his own life for the sake of the child, and if they do it on time, the child would never hear from her that he now that she's got. She knows when to let go of the child.May sacrifice themselves for the sake of the child in difficult times
She does not live for the sake of the child, but is ready to support him in a difficult moment and help him. And she knows how to take care of yourself then.
It allows itself to be angry
A good mother is angry with the child, tired of it. However, it does not confuse your feelings. She understands that angry child not because he is bad, but because she was tired. You can feel hatred and anger against people close to you, but you do not humiliate and not to vent their feelings on them - this is the difference.
She just loves the child
How can not always ideal as we would like, but more than anything else.
You will also be interesting 10 signs that you slishgom strict mother and overshoot in education.
