We are all living people, with our own character traits, with our own principles, feelings, desires. And very rarely someone thinks that he could offend a loved one. We do not think that our behavior or words can hurt someone very deeply, we believe that the truth is on our side, and we have the right to act as we do. I also hurt a lot of people, but I always tried to repent. Not in order to renew the relationship, but so that the person could simply forgive me.
And it was similar with me. They offended me, they hurt me a lot. And it was hard to forgive. Yes, I was not going to forgive anyone. I was hurt, I was offended, went to cry in my corner, then got angry, hated, torturing myself. Forgiving a person who has done a lot of pain is sometimes incredibly difficult, but it is necessary, simply in order to free yourself from this feeling of pain that has been ingrained inside for so long.
It is very difficult to trust a person who has betrayed and hurt. It's hard to love him again, or even treat him well. It seems that he did not deserve this, that now he must forever remain in Judas, that his conscience must bite him, catch up with the boomerang. In some minutes, heavy thoughts with its tragic end rush through my head. But it is important to learn to forgive people. Not in order to improve relationships, but in order to simply free yourself and breathe calmly. In order not to torment yourself with negative thoughts, so as not to torment yourself with thoughts: “why do I need this.” It's tricky, but it's worth a try anyway.
Sometimes people are very cruel to us, they can hurt both by deed and by words. And then it seems to us that they are doing something unforgivable. But you need to move on, move forward, and for this you need to forgive.
A few years ago I had what I thought were very good friends. We were friends for a long time, we were together everywhere, but then something changed. They betrayed me. They could do bad things behind my back or right in front of me, gossip about me, hurt me with words, they could humiliate and insult me. And I saw then that they didn’t care at all, they didn’t even regret that they hurt me. And I loved these people so much, I valued friendship with them so much, and I really wanted to save our relationship. It is clear that this was generally impossible.
At one point, I suddenly thought, why do I communicate with these people at all. I treat them well, I love them, I appreciate each of them, but they treat me so ugly. It hurt me, but I found the strength in myself, and just weeded out from them, deciding that I no longer needed such friendship.
And, of course, none of my friends understood my behavior. I was so pissed off when one of them texted me or called me. I started arguing, I sorted things out, I tried to poke their nose into their behavior, to prove that they were wrong, because I was very offended. And then I suddenly decided that I could no longer torment myself like that, but I really became paranoid. None of my friends thought about my pain, or about me in general, and I remembered what they had done daily, hourly. And I decided to forgive them.
I'm also not a perfect person. I am also mistaken, and, most likely, without realizing it, I am hurting someone. I put myself in their shoes and I was able to forgive them. It was my decision, and I made it not for my friends, but for my own peace of mind.
And you try to forgive those who hurt you. Not in order to renew a relationship with a person, although this can also be. But most likely, it is not safe to communicate with a person who is capable of bad deeds or words addressed to you. Yes, you must protect yourself and your personal space. But you must also forgive in order to free yourself from your pain, and just move on, living without offense and free!
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/vazhno-nauchitsya-proshhat-teh-ljudej-kotorye-sdelali-vam-bolno.html
