A lot of literature has been written about the upbringing of children, in particular girls. But it is impossible that everything and everyone has a blueprint. We have different lives. No matter how they try to teach us everything that is possible, we somehow sometimes jump into this life so strangely soaring and naively unprepared.
They read about crimes, read about love, about passions, about what is good and what is bad, too, practically memorized. Yes, and all the situations have been discussed with friends for a long time. But we cannot know for sure what real life is preparing for us!
We were told, for example, that children are smiles, happiness, tenderness. But few people warned that this is also a lot of problems, sleepless nights because of the tummy and teeth, crises, disobedience, learning, training and even the complete destruction of the former. Of course, from this destruction, burning, no matter how we rise, we do not become the same.
When I was pregnant, I had a conversation with my adult friend. She had already found the happiness of motherhood then, and I decided to ask her: and how are children? Here's what she told me:
- Children, my dear, it's as if they took your heart out of you, and hung it forever on a tall tree. It hangs to itself, open, naked, blowing it with the wind. Either it blows cold, and the heart squeezes with fear, then it gets cold - then it freezes in horror, then it warms up with the sun, then it begins to melt with love. And your heart is absolutely not wrapped in anything and is not protected by anything. Children are forever, with their birth you divide a part of yourself between them, and you will never feel collected, especially when they are not with you.
I thought a lot then. Mother is a strange creature. She is here with her body, next to you, and with her soul and heart she is always where her children are, always. Even if the child is already an adult, the mother's heart will always flutter from his ups and downs.
Mom walks in this life along a thin wire over the abyss, hugging the children and protecting them. And you know, it's good that young girls are not told about this, otherwise they would definitely be afraid of motherhood.
And girls are not told that the husband becomes just an attachment to the children. In literature, we are told about heroes, cowards, brave men, villains. And here the husband is an ordinary person. Do they write to us in books about ordinary people? Therefore, a woman does not know how to handle such an ordinary thing, what to do with it at all.
My husband came home from work, threw off his shoes, put his socks under the sofa, eats - chomps, and may then hiccup, scratch his back. The books do not tell us about this for sure. And are there brochures anywhere on the operation of such an individual? Therefore, it is not clear how to behave next to such a large, loud and muttering object.
Many girls are simply misled by the size of men, their habits, habits, shaggy. And some even try to change to re-educate such a, sorry, "animal". Someone succeeds, someone does not. Sometimes "training" leads to the fact that the man escapes. It is unclear whether it’s polygamy, the woman’s attempts to change her man, or the fact that males are indeed a little bit animals... Or maybe, after all, the husband is not an animal, but the head of the family? Here, you can react as you like, but many women, especially young women, face similar thoughts and reasoning.
Well, if a man is still the head of the family, then you have to obey him? Do girls read about this somewhere? In books like: literary heroines run away from their husbands, then off a cliff or under a train. And it turns out that it is better off the cliff than to obey your husband?
Here, girls are taught at school music, chemistry, literature, mathematics, and no one tells them that more than half of their lives they will conduct a ladle in the kitchen, chew at the stove, count money from paycheck to paycheck, and read children fairy tales!
Girls decorate themselves, dress up, they are surrounded with care, they are looked after, they are not allowed to watch terrible things on TV, they protect them, and they are not allowed to wear heavy things either. And no one ever says that all the hardships of the family: that is, children, spouse and even old parents - girls will bear all this until the end of their days.
It happens, of course, that everything in girlish destinies happens differently, but this is very rare.
And you know, it’s probably good that the girls are not told about this, otherwise they will be scared. Moreover, life itself will tell and show everything ...
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/to-o-chem-devochkam-ne-rasskazyvajut.html
