Comic horoscope from a Jewish astrologer

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How many horoscopes and characteristics of each zodiac sign have we already analyzed? I offer you a very interesting comic horoscope from a Jewish astrologer. What will he tell us about each of us? Who is the most Jewish of all the signs of the zodiac? Let's start at the end!

Aquarius

The astrologer calls the representatives of this zodiac sign chronic losers. At the same time, Aquarius attracts others with her unusual and stupid behavior. To live and not grieve, it is imperative for all ladies to marry Aquarius. These freaks are dragging everything into the house, even other people's women. At the same time, they all have explanations, and most often Aquarius says that all this is for the sake of experiment and scientific research.

Fish

Pisces seem to everyone to be dreamy fools, but this is generally not so. These storytellers are sometimes very difficult to pacify, while they will freak out right in front of your nose. And it is completely useless to pull the Fish out of your usual dreamy swamp, save your nerves.

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Aries

Aries does not understand words at all, he does not hear them, he generally does not care who and what is saying there. And, if not all the same, it can give in the face. Pisces are good friends with Aries. Because in the world where Pisces poop with daisies, some kind of ram is needed, which will upset and kick them from time to time.

calf

The kindest and nicest, if, of course, not to hurt his family, and also his old things. They lie, gathering dust, well, and that is none of your business. An uncompromising eccentric. If his wife wants to go on vacation to the mountains, and he himself wants to swim in the sea, then a compromise will be found - they will go to the sea, but his wife will be allowed to take skis with her.

Twins

It is generally difficult to deal with two-faced Gemini, because then it is not clear which of the two to give in the face. They constantly tryn’t stop, then by phone, then by Skype, then somehow. From their nonsense sometimes ears in a tube.

Crayfish

They always whine through life, shy to the eerie, and some disgusting, no strength. Everyone seems to be cheerful and benevolent, but this is only an outward appearance. In fact, Cancers constantly teach everyone wisdom, call for conscience, yes, they even know how to manipulate. And they just love to shift responsibility onto others. "So you have to do so, I would do so too, but I have reasons not to do so, and they are good, but just think, otherwise the punishment will overtake." Well, something like that.

a lion

All Lions have very high self-esteem. Here will be this Lion with an insignificant appearance and with zeros in his pocket, but he will still proudly walk around the city, demanding admiration. Leos are very dismissive of people, even their loved ones.

Virgo

Neat to the core, everything should be parallel, perpendicular and on their shelves, and without a speck of dust! Angry, constantly hiss at everyone. It is very difficult to live with such, try to get up or lie down somehow wrong, you will immediately violate the program of Virgo's total control over others.

Libra

Refined, polite, attentive to people. Aha, for the time being, until they get tired of posing as aristocrats. They generally swing from side to side during the day. They either love the whole world, or they are embittered at each and every one. That is why Libra has practically no friends, so temporary interlocutors.

Sagittarius

Very high conceit and love of truth make Sagittarius simply terrible people. With their opinion, they will fit everywhere, where necessary and where not. But women of men of this zodiac sign love to madness, and stick, do not tear.

Scorpio

The most walking sign of the entire zodiacal constellation. Now every Scorpio can say that "I am not like that" and will blatantly lie. What such a man! Do you know why Scorpios do not grow grass in the "causal place"? And because the grass cannot grow on the treadmill. Scorpios, if they are not having fun with anyone, then, of course, think about it. And if they do not "make" some madam, then they "make" her brains.

Capricorn

Yes Yes. You guessed correctly that we have come to the finish line, and the most Jewish zodiac sign, according to the Jewish astrologer himself, is Capricorn. Greedy to the point of impossibility. From childhood, he plays with money, and teaches parents how to make money without getting up from the pot. Instead of a rattle, he definitely had a piggy bank with money. Capricorn men marry only profitable brides. Firstly, they look after a girl "without a run", and, secondly, with wealthy and high-ranking relatives.

Please do not be offended by this horoscope, it was all written in a comic manner... although, perhaps, you will find some truth in such characteristics ...

Read also: 7 conditions of your nails that can indicate a problem in the body

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