"Perfect mother does not happen, only when Yaroslav was born, I lamented that I was not a perfect mom," - says the singer Lilu.
Specifically, we have an exclusive interview with the singer and TV host for our website LiluWho has a son, and certainly can give advice on how to make sure that parents and children are trusting and friendly relations.
Lilu, that for you family values? Do they change over time?
Family is very important in everyone's life when you realize that you are not alone when you feel bad or when you feel good that you have someone to share their joy, and rely on in difficult times. Family values - is that we laid in childhood, those traditions that we ourselves can bring to their lives and to bring the children. Family values - a tradition to celebrate together, that interest in each other's lives, despite the distance. It so happens that I live far away from their parents, but we talk on the phone every day. If we do not talk on the phone for more than three days, my mother starts to sound the alarm. To some this may seem too much, but this way we maintain the thread of communication, which we do not have all these years. Family - it's cool, when there are brothers and sisters, when you know that you can rely not only on parents but also on other people close to you. I'm glad that I have an older brother.
You are not only a singer and TV presenter, but also has a son Yaroslav. What is the basis principles of education in your opinion?
I have a democratic principle of education, educate must first themselves, because children absorb both good and bad qualities of the parents. So - educate yourself and get better every day, to be a good example. I do not strictly punish his son and did not use the method of carrot and stick, always trying to give him more freedom and to form friendships, rather than parent and child. In adolescence, it is another child is ready to entrust more secrets than a parent who builds a distance in education.
Singer LILU / Press Service
Repeatedly in an interview you said that you do not need to bring up the child and himself. And what advice to give to parents to educate themselves?
Many parents believe that they are not certain the trip will take the child, as he is still small, in the guests also did not take, it is still too early to know. Initially, people are building the wrong distance, today's children - they are different, I always took as a child her son on the road, and in the most interesting journey, he travels with me. Thus it is more immersed in an environment in society. Each such communication, he makes a lot of information at the right angle and not as he would have understood it, reading on the Internet. An example of their parents or their immediate environment - this is the best example.
What is your view of the modern ideal mother?
Perfect mother does not happen, only when Yaroslav was born, I lamented that I was not a perfect mother, do not have time to do much, somewhere not have time to watch. Over time, I relaxed and realized that even the most perfect imperfect mothers for their children. No need to bathe on this issue, you need to become a better and more interesting to live, to become that mom, which would proud of your son, to succeed in their business, you have to be proud of your child, even if you just perfectly bake pies.
In literature and cinema often raises the issue of the complex relationships of parents and children. What do you think, what the main problem in the relationship after all?
The conflict between fathers and children from the fact that people can not hear each other. When early childhood parents give children a little time, it is already in the adult age, children do not need it, do not listen. It is necessary to instill the family communication, then we will always be on the same emotional wavelength with the child.
How do you resolve conflicts with your son?
As a teenager, conflict is inevitable with parents. But parents should be wiser in conflict resolution. If we had a conflict with my son, I take myself in hand, count to ten and breathe. And then I think how to get out of this situation. It is impossible to address issues threats or punishments. Only dialogue.
Due to the busy schedule, there is always enough time to raise a son?
The schedule is loaded, but we always find time for a person who is important to us. You can always find the time - call, write, meet together and go home, discussing something important. Time can always be found.
Singer LILU / Press Service
Do you set aside time to talk to your son? Perhaps there is a tradition to gather for tea once a week and discuss all that it cares?
I always plant the tradition of family dinners when it is possible. On important holidays we gather together on the weekends, too, we organize a general partner. It turns out in different ways, not always have the time, but I'm not upset, I think that as long as we have something to communicate - it well, especially productive communication occurs while traveling, when we can devote more time to each other.
How about the divorce and consider whether that man and woman should live together for the sake of the child?
I think marriage is exhausted, there is no sense to burden themselves relationships for the sake of the child. Children, even if they do not give voice to it, they feel it. Sometimes you have to be honest, not only with them but also with himself. Tell yourself that this stage of life is over and you need to move into a new stage. Each individual situation, so to speak as well - I did not take it. For many people, there is a crisis of family relations or a midlife crisis. Then they see the situation as a failure of the marriage, diverge, and then through time back to each other, because they understand that emotions have played them not at hand, they did wrong and have to start all at first. Before taking drastic decisions need to give yourself time to think.
Why would wish for contemporary parents who do not always understand their children because of the difference in age and radically opposing views on life?Modern parents would like to wish them to give more freedom to their children more than they trust, in any case not to cultivate the understanding, how we were brought up as a child. Build a warm and friendly relations - is more important than trying to raise a child by all the canons of the post-Soviet upbringing. Everything changes and attitudes of children and adults too. If we want to establish contact with them and the relationship, you need to keep your nose to the wind, depending on the pace of the modern world.
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