A woman who enters into a relationship with a man considers him over time as a potential husband. She is trying to understand if it is possible with him to build a family, have children, plan the future. Very often, a woman fails to build a happy relationship, for example, because of her negative experience. I'm talking about education now. In her childhood, mother did not like her, did not teach her daughter to take care of herself, she constantly scolded her, condemned her, and the girl grew up with the knowledge that it should be so. And she chooses such men for herself, who will treat her in the same way as her mother once did. She chooses those who confirm her insecurity and failure, and those with whom she builds a suffering relationship.
What are the mistakes of women when choosing a man?
Orientation to the familiar
If a woman was not loved and protected in childhood, she and a man will subconsciously choose the same for herself, with the same attitude. She will not trust these relationships, perceive them as a safe place, she will attract men into her life, with whom you always need to be careful.
Staying in illusions
She is sure that a woman needs to be strived for, that a man should show assertiveness, perseverance, he should take the first step. Therefore, she sees this very assertiveness in annoying calls at night, endless SMS, defiant behavior. But those who behave more well-mannered, she does not notice at all.
Wrong understanding of love
A woman who was not loved by her mother in childhood does not believe at all that you can love someone just like that. She thinks that love must be earned, one must fight for it, one must suffer. She confuses feelings of hate and pain. She has a wrong understanding of love.
Indifference to relationship problems
This is more likely not indifference, but the fact that women turn a blind eye to problems in relationships, trying not to notice them. Perhaps they think that if you don't notice the rare rudeness, the man will stop being rude in the end? But everything is quite the opposite.
Inflated self-criticism
Low self-esteem, self-nagging, excessive self-criticism - all this comes from childhood. After all, when a mother brings up incorrectly, she can scold and humiliate, it is easier for a child to say - “I am guilty!” Instead of defending his position. And then an adult woman blames herself for the rude attitude of a man towards her and even for his betrayal ...
Distrust of your feelings
If the daughter's mother in childhood said that she was too emotional, naive and sensitive, and a little later, for example, that she was in love, then, having matured, she would doubt her feelings. She will go with the flow, giving the man the "reins" in the relationship.
Not understanding the reasons for their own insecurity
When a woman was disliked as a child, she looks for what she lacks in a relationship with a man. She is vulnerable, reacts painfully to everything, it is difficult for her to recognize love. She is afraid of getting burned, and because of her insecurity, she may not build a relationship at all.
Lack of example of healthy relationships
Everything is clear here. If a woman does not know how it is, when the relationship is good, then how will she build it healthy?
Fear of being alone
From childhood, many girls are taught that absolutely every woman should have a husband. Because of such stereotypes, ladies are trying to get themselves a groom as soon as possible and jump out in marriage, and, most often, their experience is unsuccessful.
It is so sad when a mother does not love her daughter... But so that this does not turn into a catastrophe, you can work out your complexes and fears, and accept yourself. If everything has gone too far, then it is better to contact a specialist.
Read also: 7 conditions of your nails that can indicate a problem in the body
The original article is posted here: https://kabluk.me/psihologija/9-prichin-pochemu-zhenshhina-vybiraet-sebe-ne-togo-muzhchinu.html
