Svetlana Roiz - one of the most popular in Ukraine, children's and family psychologists. She is the author of "Magic Wand for parents", "Where does the angel" and "Practical Rebenkovedenie". Her books, interviews and posts on social networks dismantled in quotes. Kolobok.uaoffers to get acquainted with the 5 principles of education of children from Svetlana Roiz.
Why do parents need to take care of their happiness in the first place? For that you can not punish the child? And why you should not raise your voice to the baby? These and other questions are answered by children's family psychologist Svetlana Roiz
Svetlana Roiz
Emotional resources of the parents
According to Svetlana Roiz, emotional life- own strength and level of happiness - the «whale», Which is based on the education of children. When a parent is able to take care of yourself, to give yourself a chance to rest and recuperate, then he will feel and the child will be able to see warning signals in behavior."If adults are exhausted, they do not have the strength, sense of humor, time to adequately respond to all sorts of situations and problems. So they either simply do not pay attention to what should have been corrected in the behavior of the child, or can not keep the irritation and anger "- Svetlana Roiz.
Do not sacrifice yourself
Many parents are trying to give the child a lot. They write them on all sorts of clubs, buy clothes and phone is better than the father or mother. In this sacrifice themselves, their interests, so live for the sake of children. Svetlana Roiz says it is - an excessive burden for the child. Sacrificing a parent puts the baby in the huge expectations and responsibilities. A child of the victim does not receive joy. If a parent feels the need to implement a child, he needs to know: wants child or a parent yourself? Parents often confuse their own needs and the child.
Personal example
Parent can bring up a child of any value, if it is not him. Children - our mirror, says Svetlana Roiz. They otzerkalivayut our behavior. For example, if a child's aggression is often the parents themselves allow violence against the child. And violence include not only physical abuse, but also disrespect, neglect and even overprotective.By educating yourself, and parents to raise the child.
properly punished
You can not punish the child for the need to implement. If a child is drawing on the wallpaper, you need to put him to the border. For example, paste drawing paper on the wall and determine where you can draw, and where not. Or give him another opportunity to realize themselves. Should not be punished for the physiological manifestations: defecation and urination. It should not be punished for the emotions: it's okay to get angry, cry and be in a bad mood. "We are being punished for an offense... a sense can not be punished. Feelings can not be good or bad ", - Svetlana Roiz.
Should not be punished for curiosity and desire to explore the world. Parent must lead this process, clearly identified danger areas and security rules.
"As long as the child is not said of himself" I ", he can not relate the punishment with his personality," - Svetlana Roiz.
quarrel with the child
Shouting, spreading his arms and rolling his tantrum, the parent loses its credibility in the eyes of a child. If a quarrel took place, we can not reject the baby. Be sure to go to conciliation. "After any quarrel - at any age - learning to tolerate. It is important to "close the door" argument. A child can not long retain power. Mommy-Daddy's rejection unbearable for children. It is important to reinvent the family rituals of reconciliation - hugging, squeezing little finger... "- Svetlana Roiz.
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Quotes from the book by Svetlana Roiz "Practical Rebenkovedenie"
